My Love Affair With Colorado

Have you ever been to Colorado?

If you have, you know it's a special place.

I've had the privilege of seeing most of the United States of America through being in a military family.

When I was 10 years old we landed in Colorado Springs at Ft. Carson where my father was stationed. In those days children usually walked to school and every school day I would see Cheyenne Mountain on my walk to school.

I would look at that mountain (mostly unaware of the military secrets the mountain held). And one day, my 10 year-old-mind told me that someday I would return. We were only stationed there a short while, but Colorado left its impression on me.

And I did return.

It took nearly 20 years, but I made it back to Colorado with precious memories of a 10 -year-old.

I've been to 43 states and while all had their charms--only Colorado impressed itself on my heart, soul and mind.

OK, Hawaii came a close second. But there is something about Colorado. And it does have to do with the mountains and the scenery. But what draws people to Colorado is something I have yet to totally define.

There is some sort of magic here. Some sort of  indefinable something that I will spend the rest of my days attempting to define. But in the meantime--I simply enjoy it.

I thought I was the only person who felt this way. I have run into other people, in casual encounters, who have told me, a random family camping trip as a child evoked the same feeling in them. That someday they knew they would return to Colorado when they were old enough to make it happen.

Yes, it's partially the scenery. We know that Colorado inspired the song, American The Beautiful. It's the people also. Because even in the midst of scenery and mountains that make me feel so small and insignificant in the universe and also so strong and powerful and with soul soaring--there is something more that is special about this place. And again, I can't define it. But everyday, I enjoy it.

We Found YOU In Florence: Avery Berg of Folk Punk Band--THE ASH TRAYS

If you are a folk punk band looking for a washboard for your band, where do you go? Florence--the antiques capital of Colorado, of course.

Regular readers of this blog know that one of my favorite things to do (besides scare customers and decent folks strolling the streets of Florence) is to ask people what they are planning to do with something they found in Florence.

Florence has a marketing campaign: FIND IT IN FLORENCE.

But I like to find people in Florence and ask them what they found in Florence.

I'm liking what I find in the way of eclectic shoppers in our fair burg. Last time I found a chuck wagon restorer extraordinaire.

Ah, but this time I outdid myself. I often say that the most interesting people shop in Florence--and I can prove it on this blog.

This time I found Avery Berg of Canon City.

Yep, that's a vintage washboard Avery just purchased in Florence.

Naturally I asked him what he was planning on doing with it.

Turns out Avery is part of a folk punk band called The Ash Trays out of Canon City. And he decided the band needed to add some washboard playing to its repertoire.

In past blog posts I've noticed that there are some spots in Florence (in my opinion) that are the beacons of hippery. Mainly Outspokin' Bike Rentals and The Pour House. I've also noted that I am too ancient to be hip (except to break a hip)--but recognize creativity and hippery genius when I see it.

And even though I have not heard The Ash Trays play yet--I'm pretty sure we've uncovered another beacon of hippery in Fremont County.

I'm not sure what a folk punk band is. Hey, don't hate me. I came up during the era of Barry Manilow and The Partridge Family!

But I do know that if you look real close at Avery's hat, written on the bill is: Folk The System. And that I can appreciate.

Avery said the band just got started around December of last year and so far is playing primarily in Colorado Springs and Pueblo. No Canon City gigs? He said venues haven't opened up here yet.

Just my opinion, but that's a darn shame. I think Fremont County is ready to hear some folk punk music.

That's Avery and the band recording an album.

I went to The Ash Trays Facebook page and found their own description of what they do: "Washtubbin mountain town anarcho folk punk from Canon City Colorado. Banjo slingin degenerates burning a hole in establishment with dirty stoge fueled tunes."

Now if that description doesn't entice you, like it did me, then I don't what to say!

Avery told me he does vocals and plays the ukulele and banjo. And I know he also was on the successful hunt for a washboard. Cody Herrera also does vocals and plays the guitar and trumpet. And Nova Meek sings, plays the skin flute and does professional gut bucket.

The morals of the story? Get out and see and hear The Ash Trays. It sounds like they kick some Ash. And surely Canon City and Florence (the FUNkytown of Fremont County and a beacon of hippery) can host a venue.

And the last moral of the story? You never know when I will find YOU in Florence and ask you what you found in Florence and what you plan to do with it. And each time we do this on the blog, we prove that more talented and interesting people are in Fremont County that we could imagine.

I know you want to know more about The Ash Trays. Go to their Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/theashtraysofcanon/

Florence Consignment Corner: Another Reason To Visit Antiques Capital Of Colorado

There are dozens of reasons to visit Florence, the antiques capital of Colorado. Tons of antiques, art and gift stores. Peaceful walking-friendly streets. Friendly people. Great eateries. Fantastic outdoor art. Fascinating architecture. History and more!

Well, here's yet another reason: Florence Consignment Corner. The new business is located at 202 E. Main St. For locals, that location formerly housed the Napa Auto store. Now the space has been transformed into a venue for antiques, art, jewelry, bargains and much more.

According to FCC's Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/findalmostanything/ the business will host an open house from April 1 to 7. Many spaces have already been rented out, but there are a few more available. Who knows what treasures will be found?

April 1 is a great day to get one's walking and shopping shoes on, because in addition to the FCC open house--there will be a citywide Very Foolish Sale and a citywide yard sale in honor of April Fool's Day. Those sales are slated for March 31, as well as April 1.

The Florence Consignment Corner will be open seven days a week from 10 to 6. Phone number is 719-671-6746.

Florence,Colorado: RECLAIMED WOODWORKS Making Used Wood Into...

Chances are if you drop a business card, a flyer, a poster or brochure at one of Florence's antiques malls, I will find it and you might end up on this blog, getting a little free publicity.

Free publicity? Why, you ask? Just because I can--and it always a pleasure to unearth yet another talent in Fremont County.

As we all know, Florence is the antiques capital of Colorado. But there are also many talented artists and artisans.

I came across the business card of Tiffany Dennison of Reclaimed Woodworks. Her business is located at 430 E. 3rd St. in Florence and the phone number is 719-429-6916.

I found this picture of some of Tiffany's signs at the Reclaimed Woodworks Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/tiffdenn35/

Pretty nifty signs. And there are several more pictures of her handiwork on her page, to feast your eyes on.

According to the Facebook page, Reclaimed Woodwork's motto is: We make used wood into something great!

I would say so!

I really liked this functional kitchen island made from reclaimed antique wood and salvage from an old butler's pantry.

And here's the other view of this great Reclaimed Woodworks creation.

Yet another example of all the hidden talent in Florence and Fremont County!

Florence, Colorado: Armed Forces Art Exhibit

Mays is a wonderful month, and even more wonderful because Memorial Day and Armed Forces Day are celebrated. In Florence--the antiques capital of Colorado--celebrating the accomplishments of our active and retired military is a year-round source of pride. But this year, the Florence Merchants Association is putting the spotlight on the artist talents of our veterans by hosting an art exhibit.

The Florence Merchants association is calling all active duty veterans and retired military personnel to exhibit their artwork, in an media form with most any subject matter, for inclusion in a show that will start with a reception on May 13 and run through Memorial Day, May 29. The artwork will be displayed in the storefronts of participating Florence businesses.

The show is non-juried, but the committee will insure the artwork is suitable viewing for all age groups. Artwork does not have to be for sale, but artwork for sale is also welcomed.

Artwork will be received on Saturday May 6 and Sunday, the 7th, from 10 to 4 both days at A Florence Gallery at 108 E. Main St. The art committee requests that all interested artists call either 719-372-1016 or 3030717-1977 to register for the show or to get more information.

What a nice idea to honor our military personnel and enrich the community with the talents of our veterans on display for all to see!

We Found YOU In Florence, Colorado: Tom Flower of Westcliffe, Chuckwagon Restorer Extraordinaire

Some of the most interesting people shop in Florence--the antiques capital of Colorado.

Every so often I jump out like a crazed jack-in-the-box from behind the counter of an antiques mall I occasionally work at and ask people why they are buying an item or items. Then I snap their picture--with their permission.

As you can see from the below picture, I don't scare people too badly and they are usually quite happy to share their Florence finds with the world.

This time I found Tom Flower of Westcliffe shopping in Florence.

The picture just shows a little of what Tom was buying. Lots of grey enamelware, old timey kitchen items and a few vintage tools.

Tom told me he was an agricultural teacher for 22 years and retired in 2011. But shortly before his retirement he embarked on a new passion--restoring chuckwagons.

And this chuckwagon restorer extraordinaire found quite a few items in Florence that were just right for his latest project.

Tom shared this picture with me of a chuckwagon he's working on at his Westcliffe property.

Honestly, after looking at his beautiful picture--I thought: This is what Colorado is about. This picture exemplifies not only the breathtaking beauty of southern Colorado, but the spirit and ingenuity of people working to preserve the past in ways that are more than relevant today.

Hopefully someday we'll get to see a picture of Tom's finished project, outfitted with some of his Florence finds.

We found Tom Flower this time in Florence. But will we find YOU in Florence?

You'll never know when and where--but I might just find you in Florence and ask you to share what you found and what you plan to do with what you found.

Florence, Colorado: FIND IT IN FLORENCE, A Forever Home & Friendly Community

 Florence, the antiques capital of Colorado has a promotional theme entitled: Find It In Florence.

The idea is to let the world (and the inhabitants of our fair burg) know all the wonderful things they can find in Florence.

With all our world-class art galleries, gift shops and famous antiques stores and delicious eateries--we know what we have a great chance of finding wonderful material things here.

But I found this post (below) most interesting. It's about something else someone found in Florence. A sense of community and a forever home.

The post comes from the Find It In Florence Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/FlorenceGrassrootsProject/

Moved to Florence Colorado on June the 1st 2015 Just my husband and I, Friendly little town with many Antique shops!! We have learned that Florence is also known as the Antique Capital of Colorado. The fist time ventured out to take a slow walk through the very Quint little town, we were met with a warm welcome. Also sitting outside a beautiful store filled with many collectable from times past was our very Friendly Mayor and wife we shook hands and was also met by another group of people taking a stroll In the cool night air..Much to my surprise within the group of chatty wondrous people a man and wife who very kindly invited us up to there renovated Hotel was like taking a step back in time. The feeling of community still exists here in this safe and peaceful town. Even our police officer waves his hand and honks his horn with a friendly smile. YES!Dave and I have found the place where we feel very comfortable, fortunate , contented and happy to put down our roots and call this our FOREVER HOME!

I have never met the writer of this post--but I can attest to the fact, that is exactly what many find in Florence. A forever home. A sense of community. And some of the most interesting and friendly people anywhere.

And while Florence might not turn into a forever home for most, I can also attest to the fact that I have met literally hundreds of people who have told me they come from all over Colorado (but mostly Pueblo and Colorado Springs) to experience "that feeling" even for a few hours.

Sure, most are browsing or shopping for a vintage treasure or some artwork or accessories for their homes or for gifts--but they come for something else. And they usually find it, in Florence.

My favorite  opinion of Florence was one I overheard. I was standing outside ye olde antiques shop, where I occasionally work, and heard a young man say,"See, this is EXACTLY what I was talking about. This is EXACTLY what I want and need."

Naturally I turned around, and saw a young man walking with his wife and their child in a stroller.

He continued to enthuse to his wife," A place I can unwind with you both. Feel safe and walk. Just wonderful!"

I've had people tell me that to my face many a time. But what thrilled me was this time I was overhearing it, and it was coming from a young family man. Usually women are the ones saying they've found that sense of peace and relaxation wandering the friendly streets of Florence.

Apparently Florence has something for everyone. Sure, you'll find many treasures you won't find anywhere else. But so many people also find something else in Florence they weren't expecting that is an unexpected treasure.

And I can tell you, what I've found in Florence is a great joy overhearing or directly hearing so many people finding that special "something" that might not even be material in Florence.

I highly recommend people check out the Find It Florence Facebook page. It gives a glimpse into what makes the community tick--and also boasts one of the best line-ups of all the fun events happening here.

Florence,Colorado: Sandy Dale's The Gnarlies Have A Party

Sandy Dale is one of Florence's most cherished artists with her magical creations, The Gnarlies.

So I was delighted to be cantering down Main St. and see a whole window display of the adorable creatures.

For those who don't know about Sandy Dale and The Gnarlies, my sympathies, but you can get up to speed by reading this previous blog post: http://truestoryclub.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-magical-world-of-artist-sandy-dale.html

Sandy has her own studio at 220-A W. Main St. in Florence, which is open by appointment or chance.

But recently a group of The Gnarlies decided to have a party in the window at Florence Antiques, at 103 W. Main St., which is open seven days a week.

You all know how hard it is to take a picture of a window display through glass--so please excuse all the glare and car reflections in the background.

Isn't this little dude winsome? He makes me want to break out into a hula. But that might start an earthquake in Florence, so I'll just sing Tiny Bubbles quietly.

Now this Gnarlie with his cloven hooves is totally adorable. And he's ready to make music at the party too. Between him and furry fellow with his ukulele or guitar....we've got a jam happening.

This Gnarlie is riding a wonderful vintage style horse. Apparently he's riding--and on his way to the Gnarlie party.

When I asked the owner of Florence Antiques (Larry Nelson) if these were the beloved Gnarlies I spied in his window he said yes.

Now, I couldn't get pictures of all of them due to the window glare. And it would have taken too much heavy lifting to get in the back of the window to take pictures. But trust me--it's a Gnarlie delight and party you won't want to miss.

Larry also told me he had put a few steampunk accessories and hats(not pictured) on the Gnarlies (in anticipation of Florence's steampunk festival in April). He said he wasn't sure how the artist would react.

I promised not to say a word. Tee hee! But I never said I wouldn't write a word or two. He suggested that she'd find out soon enough.

I think it's quite obvious that it was not Larry Nelson that steampunked The Gnarlies up a little, but they did it themselves, when no one was looking. We've got to love those impish Gnarlies.

And these Gnarlies are available for purchase of course.

If you want to see even more Gnarlie delights, check out their Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/TheGnarlies-148314498558258/

Florence,Colorado: SQUEE! I Am So Excited Again About The Antiques Capital Of Colorado

Be still my heart! I am SO darn excited! And most people who know me, know I don't excite that easily. But it's finally happening, right here in Florence--the antiques capital of Colorado.

Most of us in Florence know our town is one of the best kept secrets in Colorado. In fact, I've even seen advertising saying that.

I've only been living in Florence about four years--and blogging about this fair burg for about two. And in these scant few years I've been amazed at all the talent hiding out in Florence.

I've often thought to myself, that all this talent should NOT be a secret. So, I've just shared with the world some of the quirky and fun things in this town. And occasionally some of the more serious aspects of things in our town and county.

I write this blog semi-anonymously.  I don't mention my name. And about 90 percent of the time, most people don't know I am writing about them or the town. When I do tell them WHY I am snapping pictures or asking questions for my blog--NOT one person has ever refused or even asked if I can be trusted to use their information. AND that shows me the character of Florence --friendly people who are happy to talk about Florence or what they found in Florence with no reservations or suspicions.

I have no ties to the chamber or any merchants groups. I just want to share this neat town with others.

Our historical buildings. Our eateries. Our world-class art galleries. And our wonderful antique shops. But most of all--I want to share stories. Art, antiques, culinary creativity and more would mean nothing unless we knew the story behind it.

I've told a few people, that while I do love antiques and have a general knowledge of them--it's the story behind it that illuminates me. The history behind an object. Or more importantly, the story behind what moves people to want an antique or art object.

And why am SO excited today?

I am horrible about checking my emails. But I got an email weeks ago (that I just read today) that Florence is going to be possibly covered by a magazine. SQUEE!

I won't mention the name of the magazine yet. But I subscribe to the magazine and it is a wonderful publication.

For years I've read this magazine and thought: Florence would be great for an article in this magazine. I've even mentioned it to a friend or two in private. But I'm fairly shy--even though you'd never know it--and never summoned the courage to contact this magazine and ask if they would feature Florence.

Well, a writer from that magazine contacted me!

And I can't tell you how excited I am for the town of Florence. Oh, I guess I can tell you. Because I just did.

Florence,Colorado: April Fool's Sale, Touch My Junk & Wash A Lion

Florence Colorado is the FUNkytown of Fremont County. Everyone knows it. OK, I am one of the very few that knows it. And even if it was not the FUNkytown in southern Colorado--I'd turn it into one just for my own amusement.

But April Fool's Day is coming up--and any excuse to prove my point in appreciated.

Florence loves to celebrate anything and everyone. That's just the way we are around here. Sure, we are the antiques capital of Colorado--but that's just part of the celebration.

Last year we had the first annual A Very Foolish Sale in honor of April Fool's Day.

So of course now it's almost time for the second annual A Very Foolish Sale.

So what does that mean for you, the unsuspecting, um, I mean, savvy consumer?

It means bargains and junk galore.

No, there is no Touch My Junk antiques store in Florence. But there should be. But ya can't always get what you want.

But there will be plenty of junk to touch and buy. And lots of treasures.

According to a flyer circulating around our fair burg:" It's time to clean out our shops with very foolish prices on selected merchandise. Prices will start at a dollar or less. If the weather is good we will have sidewalk sales, if not we'll have tables just inside the doors."

Yikes! One dollar or less!

A Very Foolish Sale will be held Friday, March 31 and Saturday, April from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Naturally I do LOTS of expert research for my blog posts and I wondered how the heck April Fool's Day even got started. It started sometime in the 1300's because it was mentioned in the Canterbury Tales.

It eventually devolved, oops, I mean evolved into a tradition of hoaxes, pranks and fake news. Well, howdy doo. I never realized all the fake news of late was leading us up to our April Fool's tradition.

It seems there have been jokesters and pranksters in every century. One of my favorites is this lion washing ticket that was circulated in 1837 for a fake Tower of London event.

I personally would pay a fortune to attend a lion washing ceremony.

My April Fools's advice to the city of Florence, and other fine towns celebrating April Fool's Day, is to have a lion washing ceremony. It certainly would draw many people and there would be no need to ever hold another event or sale. Think of all the time and effort saved.

OK, fake lion washings are one of many great April Fool's jokes in world history.

But I am not joking when I say that A Very Foolish Sale is a real thing and we hope to see you in Florence on March 31 or April Fool's Day to touch and purchase our junk. And please feel free to bring your lions and some soap.

Florence, Colorado: It's Time For Some STEAMY LOVE

Most steampunk aficionados are wound up tighter than gears on a combination dirigible/submarine as they look forward to the 3rd Annual Escape In Time To Steampunk And Wine Festival in Florence--the antiques capital of Colorado.

But this year the steampunk celebration has a new theme: STEAMY LOVE.

Steamy love?

This is about as steamy as I like my love scenes.

Oh, never mind, I think the intent is to celebrate love STEAMpunk style.

OK, I was right--it's about steamy love, shotgun weddings and marriage vow renewals.

That's not the only new things about this year's steampunk festival. This year it will be held in Pioneer Park. And this year the non-profit Fremont Civic Theater will be handling the wine portion of the festival and using proceeds for the theater group.

It all sounds fun and rather steamy.

Read all about it at: https://www.facebook.com/steampunkwine/

Florence, Colorado: Squee! I Got My 16th Annual Florence Merchants' Car Show T-Shirt

Squee! I got my 16th Annual Florence Merchant's Car Show t-shirt today.

If you're wondering why I am so excited, it's because the car show happens to be one of my favorite events of all time in Florence, the antiques capital of Colorado.

My t-shirt looks just like the one pictured above. The picture was posted by the Stitchshop in Florence, home of the talented folks that did the t-shirts and also do all sorts of magical artwork, screen printing, signs, banners and clothing.

But my t-shirt is in the jumbo-rama size. When the order was being put it, I requested whatever size that would not accentuate my spare tire. Honestly, that did happen. But now that I think about it--I should have ordered a size that showed my spare tire. After all this is a car show and my spare tire was totally theme-oriented for this car extravaganza.

You'll probably see me around town with my figure flattering t-shirt. I usually try not to touch the cars or lust after them. But it's difficult. I know little about cars, except I love them--and want to hug them all.

But here's what you won't see me doing during the car show--even though she's doing it.

Of course that's not me in the picture. I wish. I haven't looked that good since I was 16. I lost most of my looks at 17, though. But apparently this picture was taken at a past Florence Merchants' Car Show. I would consider dressing like this for my favorite car show, and ditch my beautiful, but ginormous t-shirt, and donning some fishnets and combat boots. But the problem is this lady's fishnets are probably torn on purpose. If I put on fishnets, my thunder thighs would spontaneously rip the fishnets and put all the attention on me and away from all the gorgeous cars, food, events and fun happening.

So, I'll be anonymously (as usual) skulking around the car show and drooling over (not on) all the cars. Yum! Cars like this that were at a previous Florence Merchants' Car Show.

 Want more information on this cool car show? Of course you do. You weren't put off by the thought of thunder thighs ripping fishnets or spare tire-covering t-shirts. You immediately realized this car show is possibly one of the best in Colorado. And of course you were correct. You can find out more about it at: https://www.facebook.com/FlorenceCarShow/
or at: www.florencecoloradocarshow.com

So, mark you calendars. The show revs up Sunday, May 21st from 9 to 3.

And while you are in Florence enjoying the car, the town also boasts many art galleries and wonderful eateries as well as the famous selection of antiques stores. And it might not be a bad idea to also stop by 115 E. Main St. Ste. 1 and see all the interesting things at the Stitchshop. More information on the shop that created the t-shirts is at: https://www.facebook.com/stitchshop

Are Scary Clowns Roaming Florence & The Streets Of Colorado?

Are scary clowns roaming the city of Florence and the state of Colorado? Yes, they are!

I've never had a particular fear of clowns. But then I've never read Stephen King, nor do I watch many horror movies.

No, worries. Scary clowns will pop up in Colorado when one least expects it.

Many moons ago I used to work at a print shop in Colorado. Of course, most of my co-workers were men and I got along with most all of them.

I'll call one of my co-workers, Sal. Sal was about my age and had spent most of his life as a paper cutter. For those not familiar with print shops--most presses print out a variety of the same images on the same sheet of paper and then the paper is sent to the paper cutter who slices the big sheets.

Sal and I became pretty good friends over the years. He disproved the notion that men don't talk as much as women. Every chance he got, he'd tell me what was on his mind.

Sal was a skinny dude with hyper tendencies. He rather reminded me of a scarecrow on LSD. Not that he ever did LSD to my knowledge.

One day he told me that though he'd worked in print shops since high school, that at one time he had a part-time career as a party clown.

Well color me shocked! Sal has quite the mouth on him. F this, F that. He didn't use the F word in anger much, but he had a potty mouth that would put the Goodfellas to shame.

So, Sal is bouncing around telling me how he used to love being a clown at children's parties.

"Yeah! F---ing A! I was one of the best party clowns ever. F---ing A!"

Sal used the phrase F---ing A an awful lot. So much so, that after I listened to tales of his clown career replete with F---ing A thrown in every few sentences, I asked him, "Parents actually used to let you into their houses to entertain their innocent children?"

"F---ing A yeah they did! I was one of the best party clowns ever!"

"Hmmm, most party clowns have a name. I think I'm going to dub you Faquin A, the party clown."

Sal stared at me through narrowed eyes. "Faquin A? What's that?"

Sometimes people are real clowns . "It's a polite way to say that someone who says F---ing A every time when referring to clowns or most anything for that matter, should have a street name. Faquin A, the party clown! With that name I believe you can revive your career."

My brief discussion with Sal about his party clown career still did not turn me against clowns. Honestly, I rarely think about clowns. Until now.

It was a review I read online about a Florence Colorado antiques store that happily announced the shop had NO scary clown toys.

The clown universe is trying to get my attention and get me to think about Faquin A party clowns, darn it. And then this little gem popped up.

On Jan. 14, 2015 the Florence Colorado police blotter had an interesting little item. For those people who don't read the Florence Police Department blotter in the Canon City Daily Record or the Florence Citizen, you are missing out on a treat that keeps many of the local citizens in stitches. We have no need of party clowns or any other type of clowns. We just have to read the police blotter.

The Jan. 14 entry read: "Pikes Peak Avenue and Main, a report of a male party dressed as a circus clown. He was wearing a red nose, green wig and was barking at squirrels. Officers responded and spoke with male party, who was indeed dressed as a clown. He does this professionally and was otherwise appropriate. No report was taken."

Oh, me oh my! You don't even need my feelings on this police blotter entry. The joke potential is enormous.

..."who was indeed dressed as a clown..." INDEED. OK, the fine officers deemed the party as otherwise appropriate. I can just imagine the officers racking their brains for tidbits they learned at the police academy. Hmmm, a clown barking at squirrels. Nope, not in the training manual. Doesn't sound like a reason to put anyone on a 72-hour mental evaluation hold.

I wonder if the officers asked for the clown's credentials. Perhaps the clown had a diploma from clown college? Or maybe he was just one of the many free-spirited clowns without credentials that roam Colorado looking for their next gig.

I would have loved to been a fly on the wall when those officers went home to their loved ones, hugged their significant others and told them NEVER to entertain the idea of letting a clown into their homes.

I'd also love to know what was going through the reporting party's mind when they called 911. "Hello, 911. What's my emergency? Well, um... There is a clown barking at squirrels and I'm afraid a squirrel is going to jump the clown and rip off his big, red nose..."

I admit, I've barked at squirrels even dressed in street clothes. OK, that was a lie. I never have. I've never even thought about it.

I wonder if Sal did revive his career as Faquin A, the party clown and stopped by Florence to bark at some squirrels. If it was Sal--Sal was harmless, but I'd still never recommend him for a children's party.

I am scared of clowns after all this? Faquin A, yeah! I sure am.

What They Are Really Thinking On The Antiques Roadshow

Yes, you just destroyed a valuable antique by cleaning it. I don't care if Betsy Ross left a piece of stinky cheese in the buffet, don't clean it. I don't care if General Sherman's horse peed all over that sword, just leave it alone.

Oh, yeah! I went to this yard sale and I offered this little old lady $1 for all this jewelry. She was asking $5, but I thought, what the heck? And now you are saying it's worth a million? No! It can't be true. I thought it was costume jewelry. Wink! I wouldn't know platinum if it bit me in the behind.

And the bonus to all this, is now everyone who was planning on having a yard or estate sale will watch The Antiques Roadshow or look it up on Ebay (without realizing all the variations on condition and design) and think everything is worth a fortune.

I always like looking someone in the eye( wait I can't see his eyes) when I tell them that Star Wars collectibles can now be worth more that Civil War antiques. I've been a prestigious dealer for decades and I never thought I'd be talking smack with a Star Wars trooper or soldier or whatever the heck they call them.

Excuse me while I go home and cuddle up one last time with my worthless collection, that includes things like Abe Lincoln's stovepipe hat, and kick myself that I didn't invest in Star Wars memorabilia. I did jump into the Beanie Babies craze and lost my house on Martha's Vineyard. And well, my wife and family disowned me too. Excuse me while I go hang myself.


The Queen of Questionable Taste is a part-time antiques and collectibles dealer and a mocker of  tacky, ugly, FUNky  and horrid collectibles and other questionable items, but takes special glee in mocking scary clowns and frogs. The Queen appreciates a good antique and some collectibles, but insists that another man's trash is always trash--unless of course someone is willing to pay the big bucks for it. The Queen used to be a newspaper reporter and also wrote for a major national magazine. The Queen enjoys decorating her home in the tacky pseudo-Victorian gypsy funk style, gardening, reading and acting offended when her husband, The King of Impeccable Taste, makes folk art out of junk he scrounges for free from alleys and other people's yards and out of the Arkansas River. The Queen and her husband have lived in colorful Colorado for over 20 years and LOVE it.

Florence,Colorado: Did You Know FLORENCE Predicted Presidential Winner?

Update: Did you know that Florence, Colorado actually predicted the presidential winner nearly a year ago? I didn't. That's what I get for not reading my own darn blog!

I won't make that mistake again. Today I've been going through past blog posts--alternately amusing and horrifying myself. I came across this post (below) that was published on 2-23-16. I left the original post up, but will add it in this post.

The crux is: All those political pundits on cable news could have saved a lot of time and money. Florence, Colorado already called the race for Donald Trump. And it all was done by customers coming into an antiques store and saying who they were for.

As I read over this old post, the people I ran into got the election right. But I got it a little wrong by saying that I believed (based on the "bad hair" of Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump) that the race would come down to those two. OK, I could not have predicted all the Wikileaks and DNC hacks that might have showed the Hillary Clinton campaign and DNC might have messed with Bernie a little.

But regardless, the unofficial poll taken from people doing antiques shopping and browsing in Florence, Colorado--predicted the race!


originally published on 2-23-16

Everyone knows it's not polite to talk about religion and politics. I rarely do, unless someone else brings it up. And it's not because I don't have an opinion or two (or two thousand) it's because I feel those are subjects for family and trusted friends.

And it's a definite taboo in a retail situation. I always feel I need to be a neutral worker when representing someone else's business--whether that business is an antiques store or several publications I have written for.

I know it's tough to be neutral and objective in this world--but it's how I was trained and part of my nature.

But that doesn't mean that numerous customers don't bring up politics.

I do believe pollsters should be paying me for the information I have collected, just by being neutral and listening to people who bring up politics.

And here's even the demographics. Colorado is a purple state.

My demographics are mainly men who bring up politics. OK, one woman brought it up out of 100 or more men. I don't interpret the facts, I just get amazed over those uneven demographics inwardly.

I'll give you a sample of one conversation that happened today. But it is representative of dozens of them over the months.

HIM: I don't want no socialist for a president.

ME: Oh, my!

HIM: Darn socialist.

ME: Then who would you want as president?

HIM: TRUMP!

Here's my unofficial poll, so far, taken in an antiques store--without me EVER starting the conversation.

TRUMP--100 plus
RUBIO--0
CRUZ--0
CARSON-0
CLINTON-0
SOCIALIST GUY-0

OK, you get the point.

So, am I to conclude that in a purple state, ALL antique shoppers and browsers are for Trump?

I won't reveal who I am for.

Wait! Is that a picture of my beloved terrier mix that I combed some of his hair and then plopped it on his head to make him look a little like Trump--and called his new hair-do: Trump Your Poochie in a previous blog post?

 No, I'd never do anything like that. OK, I would. And I haven't looked in my own blog archives, but I believe back in July or August, I already called the race. Not on personal or unofficial polls of antique store goers--but based on bad hair. I predicted that Trump and Saunders might be battling it out late in the race, because the spoils might go to the folks with the worst hair.

OK, I think antiques are funny. I think politics are funny. Wait, I think just about everything that isn't truly serious can be funny. And here's what I find funny--but eye-opening.

I live in a purple state, sort of in middle America. And in a rural area. And dozens and dozens of people come up to me and confide they are for Trump. It's sort of like a confessional without having to go visit a priest. They'll probably not run into me again--and if they do, I'll never reveal what they told me.

I have no problem with that. They all do acknowledge he is rough and maybe needs to keep his trap shut a little more. BUT, they usually give me a smile that says: I secretly love it!

I am far removed from the East Coast. But it is where my roots are. Even though I have been gone since kindergarten, I understand the differences in politics, humor, culture, jokes, etc. on the East Coast versus other parts of the country. I have lived in most parts of the country--and what flies in the way of humor in the East, might be frowned on in the South.

See, what former presidential candidate Rick Perry is doing would be considered perhaps OK in the South, but not in the East. Wait, I really looked closely at this picture--what he is doing would not be considered OK anywhere.

Turn your attention back to that Trump photo. I chose it for a reason. Not to put the Donald in a bad light. It just reminds me a bit of how my grandmother (East Coast through and through) used to look (minus the combover) and express her emotions. Unless you've been around it or raised around it--it can be a bit off-putting. For those who know a little about some portions of the East (and some Italians) Trump reminded me of granny when she used to do (and say) the Fangul. This is a family-friendly blog, so if you really want to know the history of the Fangul--Google it.

So, just saying. I'm a little surprised that folks here are coming out in droves and talking about Trump. And that's the confessions of an antiques store worker for today.

Florence,Colorado: Politically Incorrect Antiques, Doctors Smoke Camels

Update: This blog post was originally posted here on 2-11-16. Since then I've decided to devote some more posts to the FUN world of politically (and socially) incorrect antiques and collectibles. It's a fun (and sometimes horrifying) look at how history can be shown through antiques and collectibles.

Here's one of my favorite politically incorrect antiques or collectibles.

Yep! More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette.

Every doctor in private practice was asked!

I'm assuming that back way when, there were only a few doctors in private practice to even ask. And I am just guessing that when those doctors where "asked" there was a nice "sample" of Camels for the good doctor and all the staff--and maybe even a visit from that smoking hot cutie in the red dress.

 Ah, the good old days when a doctor came into the room and was smoking and flicked an ash off your chart before he asked you how you were feeling.

Browsers  love this framed ad and walk by it and chuckle. They come up to the counter and joke about it. I'm surprised it hasn't sold to a doctor who wants to decorate his office. When and if that happens, we'll miss this piece of history--because it reminds us how fun and funny antiques and collectibles can be.

Florence, Colorado: Police Officers & A Sneaky Rattlesnake

Update: This blog post was originally posted here on 9-13-14. Since we've recently seen yet another example of the Florence Police Department's heroics (on Feb. 6, 2017 with the bomb scare in downtown Florence) I thought this blog post from over two years ago would be a nice reminder of what our men and woman in blue do for us--in this slightly humorous look at police vs. a sneaky rattlesnake.

p.s. Shortly before Christmas of 2014 I semi-anonymously dropped a gift bag of Trader Joe snacks and candy at the Florence Police Department to thank these unknown officers. No, there were no donuts in the gift bag--just a whole lot of gratitude.

Duct Tape: One of Law Enforcement's Finest Tools In Snake Wrangling

I came home after a long day's work at an antique store on Florence's Main Street. For those of you who don't know, Florence Colorado is a friendly, small town that is also the Antiques Capital of Colorado. And for those of you who don't know: Florence is also home to one of the finest police forces. I should know--I've had enough interactions with them in my few short years here. 

And for those who don't know: Florence has quite the bunch of animals alternately amusing and scaring the heck out of some of its residents.

I put my feet up and heard a few crackling noises. I didn't think much of it. We had had a mouse in the free-standing pine cupboard in our kitchen a few weeks ago. One day when I went to get some dog food out of the cupboard, I scared the mouse and it flew onto me, as we both screamed and both went running for cover. I figured the mouse was back.

But the rustling noises were so persistent, I finally called upon my mellow Collie and feisty (but chicken)  Terrier to be of some use, other than being adorable and loyal, and check out the noises. Both pooches dutifully went into the kitchen and the Collie looked alarmed and herded something, possibly by the kitchen sink.

I went back to relaxing. Got dinner on. My husband came home from a really long day at work and we settled in to watch Sleepy Hollow.    I heard a crackling noise, grabbed the remote to turn the TV down and asked my husband, "What is that noise?"   

I still had the remote in my hand when he got up and yelled, "My gosh! There's a rattlesnake under the bookcase!"

Always calm under pressure, he told me to get the dogs into the bedroom. Of course, they were timidly walking towards the little serpent. We all ran to the bedroom. Well, not my husband. I'll call my husband, Dirk.

Dirk, stood in the living room staring at where he last saw the snake disappear under the bookcase. I hissed, from the bedroom, "Call 911! And come to the bedroom NOW!."

I'm calm (in my actions) in threatening situations--but I tend to flap my arms like a bird and hiss a lot when a mouse jumps out of a cupboard on me, or when a rattlesnake rattles for at least 30 seconds under any of my furniture.

"Call 911!"

Dirk attempted to get Siri (or whatever the heck that lady's name is on the I-phone) to get the non-emergency number for Florence Police Department. But he refuses to run like a chicken to the bedroom and tells me he needs to see where the snake is and if it stays in place. Our conversation goes like this:

Dirk: Find Florence Police Department.

Siri: I've found two police departments. Do you want me to call emergency services?

Me: It's a damn emergency! Tell Siri to call 911. Or better yet--you do it!

Dirk: Find Florence Police Department.

Siri: I've found two police departments. Do you want me to call emergency services?

Me: Call 911 right now or I'll strike worse than a rattlesnake.

Dirk is finally compelled by my hysterical tones to call 911. If my phone hadn't been too close to the snake, I would have called 911 without getting Siri involved. Dirk later told me that he was trying to call non-emergency because he didn't want to get chastised for calling 911 for a questionable reason. I wonder what would have qualified for an emergency in Dirk's opinion? Godzilla busting through our roof? An escapee from Super Max knocking on our door and asking for cupcakes, a change of clothes and traveling money? 

Officers from Florence Police Department arrive a few moments later. I peek my head out of the bedroom door and saw two uniformed officers. I somehow expected them to have big leather gloves, I guess like the kind you use to train falcons and perhaps a beekeeper's headgear and some boots. And maybe a snake-catching hook. I see nothing of the sort and yell at one of the officers," Do you have some type of tools or equipment?"

One officer chuckles, "Nope. The only tool I have is a lack of common sense."

My adrenalin levels were so high that I seem to remember mumbling something to Dirk about having concerns that they aren't trained for this--and where the heck is someone from wildlife or the humane society, or the snake wrangling society.

The officer assures me that he can handle this and I tell him I am just concerned for their safety. After all, I had stuffed clothes and plastic under the bedroom door cracks in case something went wrong.

I decide to close the door and keep my semi-hysteria to myself and let Florence's finest do their job. After all, Dirk is watching out for them. Dirk later confided that he would have done the snake wrangling himself, with possibly the help of a male friend a few blocks away, but he knew I would not permit that. He got that right!

I have the bedroom door shut and nearly hermetically sealed, But I do hear the officer ask if we have a wire coat hanger. The words are barely out his mouth and I'm flinging a wire coat hanger down the hallway. I then ask if a metal trash can would help. "It sure would," the officer answers.

I fling that like a hockey puck down the hallway and this time keep the door closed.

I hear some rattling. I'm quivering and consider yelling,"Just shoot the darn snake, I don't care about my house or belongings!" I shut my mouth. And in case you don't know--I get upset if I accidentally step on a snail and am a member of the ASPCA and the Humane Society. So, killing a snake is not first on my list of options.

I hear more rattling. Then the officer, the lead snake wrangler, screamed an expletive. "Oh, pardon my French."

"Don't worry," Dirk muttered, "I've said a lot worse."

This is not going well, so I stuff more things under the door and another expletive is heard. I'm actually thinking more and worse expletives in my thoughts than the officer could ever utter.

More rattling, thumping and then silence. I decided to pull up my big girl panties and see what's going on.

The officer said," Hey, do you have any duct tape? And hey, what about a piece of cardboard box?"

Ah, the high-tech world of snake wrangling.Dirk runs to the garage to trim some cardboard. I'm still shivering in the bedroom and finally get enough guts to see what is going on.

Ah, the officer and lead snake handler is proudly crouched by a large vintage Quality Candies tin that we use as a trash can. He is holding down a neatly trimmed piece of cardboard and waiting for Dirk to bring some duct tape.

Now, I purchased this candy tin (now a snake cage) from a fellow antique dealer who used to work at the same shop as I did. And come to think of it, I also purchased the lovely pine bookcase the snake was hiding under from her. We no longer work at the same antique store, but she still works downtown in the trade--so I think I'll have to pay her a visit this weekend and tell her to take her voodoo hex snake powder curse off the two items I purchased from her that were involved in the rattlesnake battle.

The officer, whom I will now refer to as, Officer Hero, was smiling and asked me if I'd like to take a peek at the rattlesnake before the cardboard got taped down.

"Thanks, but heck no!"

"Oh, come on," he cajoled," Curiosity will get the best of you!"

"No, it won't," I screeched.

Seeing my obvious agitation and lingering affects of adrenalin, he decided to comfort me with the information that there were a lot of rattlesnakes around here. Well, I'll be darned. We live in a newer house in the developed part of Florence. Certainly not on farmland or in the more rural areas.

Dirk brought in the duct tape. Officer Hero and the other two officers--I did not notice until I calmed down that there were three officers-- did a bang up job of duct taping the cardboard to the candy tin.

I ask all of them what I can do for them, since I am grateful for what they did. "Nothing, we get paid for this," one of the other officers replied.

You don't get paid enough, I am thinking. I was thinking along the lines of buying tickets for the Policeman's Ball, if Florence even has such a thing, or donating to some police charity--but am too rattled (pun intended) to pursue that idea.

"Okay," Officer Hero said," We'll take care of the snake and be back to return the tin later. And if it's too late and you're not up, we'll just leave it on the porch."

"Oh, I think I'll be up most of the night after this."

Officer Hero was truly fantastic. He had attempted to get the snake by just blindly scooping at it with the hanger and then later this hook-type thing called a Thera-Cane that one uses to reach sore spots in places you can't reach.

Dirk later told me Officer Hero and the other officers didn't wish to move the bookcase because they were afraid of breaking things. Of course, Dirk told them that people were more important than our things.

So, right before the officers left to take care of the rattler, he had the other two move the bookcase back. It turns out Officer Hero is a bit of an interior decorator. He told the other two officers after they moved the bookcase back, "Hey, that's not centered!"

They immediately centered it.

If you look at the above picture, blurry as it is, due to Dirk still being a bit rattled when taking the picture, in the foreground is a pile of dust bunnies. As I came staggering out of the bedroom that's the first thing I noticed before the snake  candy tin. "Oh my God," I yelled," Are those dust bunnies?! On top of this, do I have to be embarrassed in front of the police due to dust bunnies?"

Dirk later told me the officers were going to release the sneaky serpent back into the wild.

I asked Dirk what all the mild cussing and noises were. "Oh, the snake just kept escaping and striking at him."

"Oh, is that all?"

I asked Officer Hero if he'd ever done this before. "Unfortunately, I've done it a few times."

Officer Hero grabbed the tin, which was rattling louder than a tambourine.

And that kids, is why the Florence Police Department is great. It really helps to have an officer with the same twisted sense of humor I have.

Dirk later told me that Officer Hero was teasing me about showing me the snake, because if he lifted the lid it would have continued striking at him. 

So, next time you see one of Florence's finest--raise your respect and a roll of duct tape for all they do. 

Florence, Colorado: What's That Clown Woman Doing With That Horn?

What is that Clown Woman doing with that horn?

As we all know, I enjoy mocking clown collectibles. It all started in Florence, the antiques capital of Colorado where I noticed a disproportionate number of clown collectibles hiding among the classy antiques. Then my mocking spread internationally to Craigslist, Ebay and Etsy.

This latest clown accessory find on Etsy is really SO well done, that it is difficult to find anything to mock or scoff at. But discovering this clown find is really a whole new world for me--and I don't mean like the whole new world you'd find in a Disney movie.

Uh oh, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore Toto, where clowns are just clowns--or even fully dressed clowns. I think we are in over our heads on this one.

I won't speculate on what this woman is doing with that horn. Where I come from we'd say: "I think she's blowing it out her arse." But since she seems like such a nice Clown Woman, I don't think she's blowing it out her arse. Or is she?

What she is doing, according to the ETSY ad, is modeling a: Clown Gold Latex Rubber Circus Costume.

Last week when I was doing my spring/summer wardrobe shopping at Wal-Mart, I thought," Just picking up a few packages of bargain panties, a jumbo bra and some old-lady shorts and T-shirts is a drag. Something is missing. I really need a clown gold latex rubber circus costume."

But I didn't know where to find one until now.

I was SO excited when I found this outfit. They can even custom make it in my size. I wonder if House of Harlot does plus sizes? Of course they do!

  Holy Cold Bosoms, Batman! Is that sheer material I see, with just some pasties covering the nipples? And by pasties, I don't mean Cornish Pasties, that I ate one too many of--and could never fit into this clown costume. It's a bit too nippy in Colorado for this outfit.

But I'm a rebel and just might want to spice up my Wal-Mart wardrobe and have something appropriate to wear to a church potluck or charity fundraiser.

Oh, no, Queen of Questionable Taste. You can't afford me. Plus, you are a mocker of clown collectibles and accessories and you don't deserve me. At least that's what the Clown Woman appears to be telling me in this picture. She's also telling me that her waist measurement is the same size in circumference as just one of my tree-trunk thighs.

She's also telling me that ETSY ain't your granny's craft store and the House of Harlot has outfitted numerous celebrities such as Beyonce--and this all above my pay grade.

This outfit is $1,162.70. I believe the House of Harlot should give me a 70 cent discount for mentioning them on my blog and making it an even $1,162. Considering who probably reads my blog, they will get no business from my eight blog readers, and I should pay them $1,162 just for having the temerity to mention their classy clown costume on my tacky blog.

But I've learned a lot from looking for clown collectibles on ETSY. I learned a new word from the House of Harlot: Fetishistas. Most of their outfits are made of latex, rubber, leather and luxury fabrics. I wouldn't know a luxury fabric if it bit me in the arse. And I didn't know that clown horns make nice arse props. So, I don't want to ever hear that blog is NOT educational. I bet you've learned more about clown collectibles, clown dating and clown accessories than your nightmares and fantasies ever imagined.

The Queen of Questionable Taste mocks clown collectibles and clown accessories on her blog. In her spare time she lives a life of hypocrisy and quiet desperation, and spends up to 20 hours a week dusting her clown collectibles collection with a feather duster wedged between her butt cheeks, dressed in a latex clown outfit she made herself to save $1,000.

Florence, Colorado: Antiques Capital and Bargains Galore

I'm cheap. I could write a whole blog just on being thrifty. Wait, I'm thrifty and that sounds better.
Yet my house is decorated with all sorts of antiques and vintage items. How do I do it?

Years before I ever moved to Florence, the antiques capital of Colorado, I'd make the short drive from Colorado Springs to take a look at the stores here. That was a long time ago, before there were as many stores and galleries and there are today.

I purchased that art deco style bowl for $7 in Florence at the annual Junktique open air market, held in Sept. as part of Pioneer Days. That was the first bargain I purchased in Florence nearly two decades ago. And the Victorian solid oak sewing cabinet the bowl is sitting on--is the last thing I purchased a few weeks ago for under $150. No, it won't be the last thing I purchase though, because the bargains are just too good.

I go for over-the-top gaudy Victorian things at times. Don't hate me--I just can't help myself. I love this Victorian hanging magazine and periodical rack with the angel and all that fancy scrolling. I don't store anything in it--I just use it as a wall hanging. Under $40.

I purchased it at The Iron Gate Antique Mall (during a sale). The Iron Gate is now The Loralie Antique Mall, located at 109 W. Main St.

Speaking of sales and bargains... I find bargains all year round here. But I think January is one of the better months to pick up exceptional bargains. January isn't as slow as one would think in the antiques capital. Lots of people have Christmas cash and lots of dealers come into town looking to replenish stock in their out-of-town or out-of-state shops. And many dealers with booths and shops in Florence are having sales to make room for new spring and summer stock.

Naturally I don't have time to get to every venue in Florence to scope out every exceptional buy--but here's one of my favorites.

Yes, it's a vintage hand-stitched dinosaur quilt. Child-sized, but fairly big. I'm not a textiles expert, but I'd say it's from the 1920s to 1950s and in nice shape. I nearly fell over when it came into a dealer's booth at The Loralie Antique Mall, 109 W. Main St., because of the price tag of only $20. And then I really was delighted when the dealer marked it down to just $10. Wh-a-a-t? Yes, $10. Don't worry, it's still there. Or it was a day or so ago. I didn't snap it up for the simple reason, I don't have room in my house.

Then I got to looking at some of the other sales dealers at The Loralie Antiques Mall are having right now.

Yes, a whole shelf of markdowns in one booth.

And some dealers have put their whole booths on sale. Sales range from 20 percent to 75 percent off.

See, 75 percent off in one booth.

Yes, Florence has bargains galore.

Florence, Colorado: New Vintage Book Dealer

Don't tell anyone. When I see books, I'm like a kid in a candy store. So I was delighted to see a new vendor at The Loralie Antique Mall, that specializes in vintage and books on history and Colorado.

Ah, pull up a chair and browse all the tomes. Everything is organized by category.

And the newest dealer at The Loralie Antique Mall also has a few Oriental antiquities for sale, as well as some other varieties, such as the lyre table, pottery, cameras and a bit of lighting.

It's always fun to see what's old (and new) in Florence, the antiques capital of Colorado.

The Loralie Antique Mall is located at 109 W. Main St. and is open seven days a week.