Fremont County, Colorado: Helping Children Under Stress

I found this gem while perusing the classifieds in the Canon City Shopper. It's a great way to comfort children in stressful situations.

And it's something most anyone can do, even those on a budget.

Police, sheriff, fire and ambulance services in Fremont County carry a supply of stuffed animals to give to children during calls. And stuffed animals are also given to children at Christmas.

One can donate either new stuffed animals or ones in good used condition at the Burger King in Canon City or at the Seventh Day Adventist Church. Or pickup arrangements may be made by calling either 269-1697 or 671-2902.

Are Scary Clowns Roaming Florence & The Streets Of Colorado?

Are scary clowns roaming the city of Florence and the state of Colorado? Yes, they are!

I've never had a particular fear of clowns. But then I've never read Stephen King, nor do I watch many horror movies.

No, worries. Scary clowns will pop up in Colorado when one least expects it.

Many moons ago I used to work at a print shop in Colorado. Of course, most of my co-workers were men and I got along with most all of them.

I'll call one of my co-workers, Sal. Sal was about my age and had spent most of his life as a paper cutter. For those not familiar with print shops--most presses print out a variety of the same images on the same sheet of paper and then the paper is sent to the paper cutter who slices the big sheets.

Sal and I became pretty good friends over the years. He disproved the notion that men don't talk as much as women. Every chance he got, he'd tell me what was on his mind.

Sal was a skinny dude with hyper tendencies. He rather reminded me of a scarecrow on LSD. Not that he ever did LSD to my knowledge.

One day he told me that though he'd worked in print shops since high school, that at one time he had a part-time career as a party clown.

Well color me shocked! Sal has quite the mouth on him. F this, F that. He didn't use the F word in anger much, but he had a potty mouth that would put the Goodfellas to shame.

So, Sal is bouncing around telling me how he used to love being a clown at children's parties.

"Yeah! F---ing A! I was one of the best party clowns ever. F---ing A!"

Sal used the phrase F---ing A an awful lot. So much so, that after I listened to tales of his clown career replete with F---ing A thrown in every few sentences, I asked him, "Parents actually used to let you into their houses to entertain their innocent children?"

"F---ing A yeah they did! I was one of the best party clowns ever!"

"Hmmm, most party clowns have a name. I think I'm going to dub you Faquin A, the party clown."

Sal stared at me through narrowed eyes. "Faquin A? What's that?"

Sometimes people are real clowns . "It's a polite way to say that someone who says F---ing A every time when referring to clowns or most anything for that matter, should have a street name. Faquin A, the party clown! With that name I believe you can revive your career."

My brief discussion with Sal about his party clown career still did not turn me against clowns. Honestly, I rarely think about clowns. Until now.

It was a review I read online about a Florence Colorado antiques store that happily announced the shop had NO scary clown toys.

The clown universe is trying to get my attention and get me to think about Faquin A party clowns, darn it. And then this little gem popped up.

On Jan. 14, 2015 the Florence Colorado police blotter had an interesting little item. For those people who don't read the Florence Police Department blotter in the Canon City Daily Record or the Florence Citizen, you are missing out on a treat that keeps many of the local citizens in stitches. We have no need of party clowns or any other type of clowns. We just have to read the police blotter.

The Jan. 14 entry read: "Pikes Peak Avenue and Main, a report of a male party dressed as a circus clown. He was wearing a red nose, green wig and was barking at squirrels. Officers responded and spoke with male party, who was indeed dressed as a clown. He does this professionally and was otherwise appropriate. No report was taken."

Oh, me oh my! You don't even need my feelings on this police blotter entry. The joke potential is enormous.

..."who was indeed dressed as a clown..." INDEED. OK, the fine officers deemed the party as otherwise appropriate. I can just imagine the officers racking their brains for tidbits they learned at the police academy. Hmmm, a clown barking at squirrels. Nope, not in the training manual. Doesn't sound like a reason to put anyone on a 72-hour mental evaluation hold.

I wonder if the officers asked for the clown's credentials. Perhaps the clown had a diploma from clown college? Or maybe he was just one of the many free-spirited clowns without credentials that roam Colorado looking for their next gig.

I would have loved to been a fly on the wall when those officers went home to their loved ones, hugged their significant others and told them NEVER to entertain the idea of letting a clown into their homes.

I'd also love to know what was going through the reporting party's mind when they called 911. "Hello, 911. What's my emergency? Well, um... There is a clown barking at squirrels and I'm afraid a squirrel is going to jump the clown and rip off his big, red nose..."

I admit, I've barked at squirrels even dressed in street clothes. OK, that was a lie. I never have. I've never even thought about it.

I wonder if Sal did revive his career as Faquin A, the party clown and stopped by Florence to bark at some squirrels. If it was Sal--Sal was harmless, but I'd still never recommend him for a children's party.

I am scared of clowns after all this? Faquin A, yeah! I sure am.

My Guilty Pleasure-- Lt. Joe Kenda: Homicide Hunter

  I have a guilty pleasure and it's not sitting on the couch eating bon-bons, even though that could be arranged. It's Lt. Joe Kenda of Investigation Discovery's true crime show--Lt. Joe Kenda: Homicide Hunter.

  The odd thing is I just discovered Kenda a few months ago when channel surfing. It's a bonus that I lived in Colorado Springs for over 20 years, where Kenda solved almost 400 homicides.

We rolled into town just about the time Kenda was retiring from his stellar career, so we'd never heard of the detective until a few months ago.

                                                                        JOE KENDA




  For those not familiar with Colorado Springs, it is perhaps one of the country's most scenic mid-sized towns, nestled closer to the Rockies than Denver. The town exudes beauty, art, history and a friendly spirit.

  Who knew what evil lurked under the surface of that fair town.

 The other day I was working at a small shop in another part of Colorado and a browser came in. She and her friend were in southern Colorado on a work assignment and live in Aurora. For those not familiar with Colorado, Aurora is a suburb of Denver. While Aurora has very ritzy areas and fine people, parts of the suburb are among the roughest in Denver metro. At least that was my opinion based on the evening news when I lived in Denver metro.

  Out of the blue, this Aurora resident brings up Joe Kenda. She is delighted when I tell her that I am one of his biggest fans, even though I just discovered him a few months ago.

  She said," I'm telling everyone I know about Kenda and about Investigation Discovery channel. I believe everyone should watch a few of these true crime shows, just as a warning as to what is really happening in order to protect oneself. I mean, look, Colorado is portrayed as one of the safest places to live and if all this was happening in Colorado Springs...well..."

  I couldn't agree with her more.

  I was under the delusion that Colorado Springs had very low crime for a town of its size. And I suppose it does.

  But several years ago, as a juror, I spent nearly three months in the El Paso County courthouse with my fellow jurors intently watching over 100 witnesses, including members of the FBI, CBI, ATF, Colorado Springs Police Department and El Paso County Sheriff's office testify.

  It was not just the trial that changed my mind about what lurks under a very wonderful city. It was going through security and metal detectors everyday and rubbing shoulders with obvious gang members and criminals and seeing their demeanor. I learned  how to read gang tattoos and gang tags, as a gang tag actually appeared in the courthouse.

  I was talking to a courthouse janitor, who told me not to worry, and to tell my fellow jurors not to worry about our safety--because if I ever saw the security in the courthouse, I would be amazed.

  But somehow all that security didn't prevent a gang banger from spraying a wall.

  But it was really Joe Kenda that opened my eyes to the violence and nature of some people.

  In our house, Kenda is a bit of a hero. He reminds me a bit of one of my other heroes, Winston Churchill.

  Watching Kenda the last few months, brought me back to my months as a juror. When the guilty verdict was read in our double-homicide case, I was watching the faces of the attorneys and the defendant, of course. Basically there was little facial reaction from them. But the lead homicide detective, who sat at the prosecutor's table most every day, nearly cried. He quickly regained his stoic expression. And then, I realized that most law enforcement authorities take it very personally. It is more than a job.

  It's obvious it was with Kenda.

  I just recently discovered that Kenda is a bit of a marketing machine on his Facebook page. I say amen to that. He earned that right.

  A bonus, besides Kenda's deadpan delivery and witticisms is the actor (also a real former law enforcement officer) Carl Marino, who plays the younger Kenda. Since I'm talking guilty pleasures, the fellow is pretty easy on the eyes and a compelling actor.

                                                                 CARL MARINO



  Yes, we at True Story Club love our true stories, including true crime. And especially Joe Kenda. It isn't often you find reality TV that alternately makes you chuckle and makes you think deep thoughts because Kenda knows how to condense the worst of human nature into a learning experience.

  One of my favorite Kenda quotes: " If you're going to be a liar, you should at least have the decency to be good at it."

  Yeah, Kenda! That's always been my major beef with criminals. Especially career criminals. At least be good at it--including lying.

  Ah, but most of all, I love Kenda's walk-softly-and-carry-a-big-stick approach. Kenda was mentioning that most alleged criminals expect the police to yell at them. But Kenda said he didn't raise his voice, because it's much scarier to people when he was arresting them to say in a very low voice that if they didn't do what he said, he's kill them right then and now.

  "And they always believed me," Kenda said.

  Ya know what? I believe you too, Lt. Kenda. And you are just one reason I believe in the power of good law enforcement.