What They Are Really Thinking On The Antiques Roadshow

Yes, you just destroyed a valuable antique by cleaning it. I don't care if Betsy Ross left a piece of stinky cheese in the buffet, don't clean it. I don't care if General Sherman's horse peed all over that sword, just leave it alone.

Oh, yeah! I went to this yard sale and I offered this little old lady $1 for all this jewelry. She was asking $5, but I thought, what the heck? And now you are saying it's worth a million? No! It can't be true. I thought it was costume jewelry. Wink! I wouldn't know platinum if it bit me in the behind.

And the bonus to all this, is now everyone who was planning on having a yard or estate sale will watch The Antiques Roadshow or look it up on Ebay (without realizing all the variations on condition and design) and think everything is worth a fortune.

I always like looking someone in the eye( wait I can't see his eyes) when I tell them that Star Wars collectibles can now be worth more that Civil War antiques. I've been a prestigious dealer for decades and I never thought I'd be talking smack with a Star Wars trooper or soldier or whatever the heck they call them.

Excuse me while I go home and cuddle up one last time with my worthless collection, that includes things like Abe Lincoln's stovepipe hat, and kick myself that I didn't invest in Star Wars memorabilia. I did jump into the Beanie Babies craze and lost my house on Martha's Vineyard. And well, my wife and family disowned me too. Excuse me while I go hang myself.


The Queen of Questionable Taste is a part-time antiques and collectibles dealer and a mocker of  tacky, ugly, FUNky  and horrid collectibles and other questionable items, but takes special glee in mocking scary clowns and frogs. The Queen appreciates a good antique and some collectibles, but insists that another man's trash is always trash--unless of course someone is willing to pay the big bucks for it. The Queen used to be a newspaper reporter and also wrote for a major national magazine. The Queen enjoys decorating her home in the tacky pseudo-Victorian gypsy funk style, gardening, reading and acting offended when her husband, The King of Impeccable Taste, makes folk art out of junk he scrounges for free from alleys and other people's yards and out of the Arkansas River. The Queen and her husband have lived in colorful Colorado for over 20 years and LOVE it.

Florence,Colorado: Politically Incorrect Antiques, Doctors Smoke Camels

Update: This blog post was originally posted here on 2-11-16. Since then I've decided to devote some more posts to the FUN world of politically (and socially) incorrect antiques and collectibles. It's a fun (and sometimes horrifying) look at how history can be shown through antiques and collectibles.

Here's one of my favorite politically incorrect antiques or collectibles.

Yep! More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette.

Every doctor in private practice was asked!

I'm assuming that back way when, there were only a few doctors in private practice to even ask. And I am just guessing that when those doctors where "asked" there was a nice "sample" of Camels for the good doctor and all the staff--and maybe even a visit from that smoking hot cutie in the red dress.

 Ah, the good old days when a doctor came into the room and was smoking and flicked an ash off your chart before he asked you how you were feeling.

Browsers  love this framed ad and walk by it and chuckle. They come up to the counter and joke about it. I'm surprised it hasn't sold to a doctor who wants to decorate his office. When and if that happens, we'll miss this piece of history--because it reminds us how fun and funny antiques and collectibles can be.

Politically Incorrect Antique or Collectible: BABY RUTH

In the days of un-supersizing, banning huge sugary soft drinks, cleaning up school lunch menus and making sugar the white devil--I have my favorite (to date) politically incorrect antique.

I love this tin Baby Ruth holder. OK, I love Baby Ruths and have been known to slam a few down my cakehole now and then.

I'm still in tears (and sugar shock) that I was not from the generation where I could get my sugar high for a nickle.

But what makes me laugh--after I pick out the delicious chewy caramel and CRISP nuts out of my teeth--are the mixed messages here.

After lunch, it's a tasty dessert. BUT: Two make a complete lunch. Well, of course two would make a complete lunch, because it's balanced food!

Now, I know the true secret of America's rise as a leading industrial nation. Now I know how all those skyscrapers got built. It was that complete lunch that everyone thought was balanced food and wonderful energy.

Darn, you science and nutrition experts! I want to return to the days where I could eat two Baby Ruths for lunch and then go for the mixed message of having one after lunch for a tasty dessert--which in actuality would allow me THREE Baby Ruths for my lunch.