There really is only one truly appropriate punishment. I usually go to ETSY to punish myself by looking at some of the unusual handmade fashions on that site. Why shouldn't alleged donut licker Ariana also be tortured as I am--a person who has never publicly licked a donut.
If I were a judge I would sentence her to one year of wearing these.
Only $49 bucks at ETSY. Sooo sexy. I'd make her order the jumbo size. After all, according to her, Americans are into jumbo sizes. Apparently after a donut shop worker walked by with a tray of jumbo donuts, Ariana chirped through her sugary lips, "What the F... is that? I hate Americans. I hate America."
Tssk, Tssk. Even 22-year-old pop stars should clean up their potty mouths. After all her potty mouth might kiss her mother someday, or lick an innocent donut.
Have some class. Even I don't say WTF out loud, even when I am thinking it about donut-slobbering pop stars. Instead I say this:
OK, my sentence doesn't end there. The ETSY donut undies don't totally do the trick, even though some pop stars wear their undies in public--and lick donuts in public.
I'd make her wear these also.
Another ETSY delight.
Well, heck, there are so many donut fashions at ETSY, it wouldn't be difficult to make Ariana wear donut fashions for that year sentence.
I understand Ariana has a new boyfriend. She might not if she shows up wearing this ETSY beauty.
