Florence,Colorado: SQUEE! I Am So Excited Again About The Antiques Capital Of Colorado

Be still my heart! I am SO darn excited! And most people who know me, know I don't excite that easily. But it's finally happening, right here in Florence--the antiques capital of Colorado.

Most of us in Florence know our town is one of the best kept secrets in Colorado. In fact, I've even seen advertising saying that.

I've only been living in Florence about four years--and blogging about this fair burg for about two. And in these scant few years I've been amazed at all the talent hiding out in Florence.

I've often thought to myself, that all this talent should NOT be a secret. So, I've just shared with the world some of the quirky and fun things in this town. And occasionally some of the more serious aspects of things in our town and county.

I write this blog semi-anonymously.  I don't mention my name. And about 90 percent of the time, most people don't know I am writing about them or the town. When I do tell them WHY I am snapping pictures or asking questions for my blog--NOT one person has ever refused or even asked if I can be trusted to use their information. AND that shows me the character of Florence --friendly people who are happy to talk about Florence or what they found in Florence with no reservations or suspicions.

I have no ties to the chamber or any merchants groups. I just want to share this neat town with others.

Our historical buildings. Our eateries. Our world-class art galleries. And our wonderful antique shops. But most of all--I want to share stories. Art, antiques, culinary creativity and more would mean nothing unless we knew the story behind it.

I've told a few people, that while I do love antiques and have a general knowledge of them--it's the story behind it that illuminates me. The history behind an object. Or more importantly, the story behind what moves people to want an antique or art object.

And why am SO excited today?

I am horrible about checking my emails. But I got an email weeks ago (that I just read today) that Florence is going to be possibly covered by a magazine. SQUEE!

I won't mention the name of the magazine yet. But I subscribe to the magazine and it is a wonderful publication.

For years I've read this magazine and thought: Florence would be great for an article in this magazine. I've even mentioned it to a friend or two in private. But I'm fairly shy--even though you'd never know it--and never summoned the courage to contact this magazine and ask if they would feature Florence.

Well, a writer from that magazine contacted me!

And I can't tell you how excited I am for the town of Florence. Oh, I guess I can tell you. Because I just did.

Florence,Colorado: April Fool's Sale, Touch My Junk & Wash A Lion

Florence Colorado is the FUNkytown of Fremont County. Everyone knows it. OK, I am one of the very few that knows it. And even if it was not the FUNkytown in southern Colorado--I'd turn it into one just for my own amusement.

But April Fool's Day is coming up--and any excuse to prove my point in appreciated.

Florence loves to celebrate anything and everyone. That's just the way we are around here. Sure, we are the antiques capital of Colorado--but that's just part of the celebration.

Last year we had the first annual A Very Foolish Sale in honor of April Fool's Day.

So of course now it's almost time for the second annual A Very Foolish Sale.

So what does that mean for you, the unsuspecting, um, I mean, savvy consumer?

It means bargains and junk galore.

No, there is no Touch My Junk antiques store in Florence. But there should be. But ya can't always get what you want.

But there will be plenty of junk to touch and buy. And lots of treasures.

According to a flyer circulating around our fair burg:" It's time to clean out our shops with very foolish prices on selected merchandise. Prices will start at a dollar or less. If the weather is good we will have sidewalk sales, if not we'll have tables just inside the doors."

Yikes! One dollar or less!

A Very Foolish Sale will be held Friday, March 31 and Saturday, April from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Naturally I do LOTS of expert research for my blog posts and I wondered how the heck April Fool's Day even got started. It started sometime in the 1300's because it was mentioned in the Canterbury Tales.

It eventually devolved, oops, I mean evolved into a tradition of hoaxes, pranks and fake news. Well, howdy doo. I never realized all the fake news of late was leading us up to our April Fool's tradition.

It seems there have been jokesters and pranksters in every century. One of my favorites is this lion washing ticket that was circulated in 1837 for a fake Tower of London event.

I personally would pay a fortune to attend a lion washing ceremony.

My April Fools's advice to the city of Florence, and other fine towns celebrating April Fool's Day, is to have a lion washing ceremony. It certainly would draw many people and there would be no need to ever hold another event or sale. Think of all the time and effort saved.

OK, fake lion washings are one of many great April Fool's jokes in world history.

But I am not joking when I say that A Very Foolish Sale is a real thing and we hope to see you in Florence on March 31 or April Fool's Day to touch and purchase our junk. And please feel free to bring your lions and some soap.

Penrose,Colorado: Yummy Wildcrafted Jam & Jellies

For some time I've been saying there are more treasures packed into Fremont County, a relatively small and rural area, than one might imagine.

Part of the fun of living in a place with a slower pace is discovering these treasures and savoring them one at a time.

I love simple treasures and pleasures of all sorts, but finding ones of the edible variety is usually my favorite.

When we first moved here, not that long ago, we stopped at the popular Coyote Den Coffee Shop on Highway 115 in Penrose and saw a table of jams and jellies. I bought a few jars and loved them. Then I lost track of where to get them.

Then this last Christmas when I was in Penrose enjoying the park committee's Christmas light fundraiser I noticed a table of these wonderful but elusive jams and jellies again.

Not only do they taste beyond glorious, but the ones I purchased have no citric acid. That might not be important to some folks, but I suspect I have a sensitivity to citric acid--and it is very difficult to locate jams and jellies commercially that don't contain it.

I've just enjoyed Living Greens jams and jellies twice that I've stumbled across them. But now I finally was able to find its website and Facebook page and I'm even more impressed.

This small Penrose business wildcrafts, or gathers all their plant and fruit ingredients ethically and sustainably from Colorado non-domesticated plants.

I did not know this wonderful business also crafted pure plant therapy skin care.

More information on these great products are available at: www.LivingGreensColorado.com The website is a great read on what goes into this process and the passion behind giving Colorado's living greens the respect they deserve.

But it's at Living Greens Facebook page that one can find out at what festival, craft fair, show or venue is scheduled next so you can purchase the products in person. Here's the link: https://www.facebook.com/Living-Greens-Colorado-367484606677769/

And of course Living Greens phone number and P.O. Box is listed on both sites in case you can't wait for the next public event and want to order.

Florence, Colorado: It's Time For Some STEAMY LOVE

Most steampunk aficionados are wound up tighter than gears on a combination dirigible/submarine as they look forward to the 3rd Annual Escape In Time To Steampunk And Wine Festival in Florence--the antiques capital of Colorado.

But this year the steampunk celebration has a new theme: STEAMY LOVE.

Steamy love?

This is about as steamy as I like my love scenes.

Oh, never mind, I think the intent is to celebrate love STEAMpunk style.

OK, I was right--it's about steamy love, shotgun weddings and marriage vow renewals.

That's not the only new things about this year's steampunk festival. This year it will be held in Pioneer Park. And this year the non-profit Fremont Civic Theater will be handling the wine portion of the festival and using proceeds for the theater group.

It all sounds fun and rather steamy.

Read all about it at: https://www.facebook.com/steampunkwine/

Florence, Colorado: Squee! I Got My 16th Annual Florence Merchants' Car Show T-Shirt

Squee! I got my 16th Annual Florence Merchant's Car Show t-shirt today.

If you're wondering why I am so excited, it's because the car show happens to be one of my favorite events of all time in Florence, the antiques capital of Colorado.

My t-shirt looks just like the one pictured above. The picture was posted by the Stitchshop in Florence, home of the talented folks that did the t-shirts and also do all sorts of magical artwork, screen printing, signs, banners and clothing.

But my t-shirt is in the jumbo-rama size. When the order was being put it, I requested whatever size that would not accentuate my spare tire. Honestly, that did happen. But now that I think about it--I should have ordered a size that showed my spare tire. After all this is a car show and my spare tire was totally theme-oriented for this car extravaganza.

You'll probably see me around town with my figure flattering t-shirt. I usually try not to touch the cars or lust after them. But it's difficult. I know little about cars, except I love them--and want to hug them all.

But here's what you won't see me doing during the car show--even though she's doing it.

Of course that's not me in the picture. I wish. I haven't looked that good since I was 16. I lost most of my looks at 17, though. But apparently this picture was taken at a past Florence Merchants' Car Show. I would consider dressing like this for my favorite car show, and ditch my beautiful, but ginormous t-shirt, and donning some fishnets and combat boots. But the problem is this lady's fishnets are probably torn on purpose. If I put on fishnets, my thunder thighs would spontaneously rip the fishnets and put all the attention on me and away from all the gorgeous cars, food, events and fun happening.

So, I'll be anonymously (as usual) skulking around the car show and drooling over (not on) all the cars. Yum! Cars like this that were at a previous Florence Merchants' Car Show.

 Want more information on this cool car show? Of course you do. You weren't put off by the thought of thunder thighs ripping fishnets or spare tire-covering t-shirts. You immediately realized this car show is possibly one of the best in Colorado. And of course you were correct. You can find out more about it at: https://www.facebook.com/FlorenceCarShow/
or at: www.florencecoloradocarshow.com

So, mark you calendars. The show revs up Sunday, May 21st from 9 to 3.

And while you are in Florence enjoying the car, the town also boasts many art galleries and wonderful eateries as well as the famous selection of antiques stores. And it might not be a bad idea to also stop by 115 E. Main St. Ste. 1 and see all the interesting things at the Stitchshop. More information on the shop that created the t-shirts is at: https://www.facebook.com/stitchshop

Are Scary Clowns Roaming Florence & The Streets Of Colorado?

Are scary clowns roaming the city of Florence and the state of Colorado? Yes, they are!

I've never had a particular fear of clowns. But then I've never read Stephen King, nor do I watch many horror movies.

No, worries. Scary clowns will pop up in Colorado when one least expects it.

Many moons ago I used to work at a print shop in Colorado. Of course, most of my co-workers were men and I got along with most all of them.

I'll call one of my co-workers, Sal. Sal was about my age and had spent most of his life as a paper cutter. For those not familiar with print shops--most presses print out a variety of the same images on the same sheet of paper and then the paper is sent to the paper cutter who slices the big sheets.

Sal and I became pretty good friends over the years. He disproved the notion that men don't talk as much as women. Every chance he got, he'd tell me what was on his mind.

Sal was a skinny dude with hyper tendencies. He rather reminded me of a scarecrow on LSD. Not that he ever did LSD to my knowledge.

One day he told me that though he'd worked in print shops since high school, that at one time he had a part-time career as a party clown.

Well color me shocked! Sal has quite the mouth on him. F this, F that. He didn't use the F word in anger much, but he had a potty mouth that would put the Goodfellas to shame.

So, Sal is bouncing around telling me how he used to love being a clown at children's parties.

"Yeah! F---ing A! I was one of the best party clowns ever. F---ing A!"

Sal used the phrase F---ing A an awful lot. So much so, that after I listened to tales of his clown career replete with F---ing A thrown in every few sentences, I asked him, "Parents actually used to let you into their houses to entertain their innocent children?"

"F---ing A yeah they did! I was one of the best party clowns ever!"

"Hmmm, most party clowns have a name. I think I'm going to dub you Faquin A, the party clown."

Sal stared at me through narrowed eyes. "Faquin A? What's that?"

Sometimes people are real clowns . "It's a polite way to say that someone who says F---ing A every time when referring to clowns or most anything for that matter, should have a street name. Faquin A, the party clown! With that name I believe you can revive your career."

My brief discussion with Sal about his party clown career still did not turn me against clowns. Honestly, I rarely think about clowns. Until now.

It was a review I read online about a Florence Colorado antiques store that happily announced the shop had NO scary clown toys.

The clown universe is trying to get my attention and get me to think about Faquin A party clowns, darn it. And then this little gem popped up.

On Jan. 14, 2015 the Florence Colorado police blotter had an interesting little item. For those people who don't read the Florence Police Department blotter in the Canon City Daily Record or the Florence Citizen, you are missing out on a treat that keeps many of the local citizens in stitches. We have no need of party clowns or any other type of clowns. We just have to read the police blotter.

The Jan. 14 entry read: "Pikes Peak Avenue and Main, a report of a male party dressed as a circus clown. He was wearing a red nose, green wig and was barking at squirrels. Officers responded and spoke with male party, who was indeed dressed as a clown. He does this professionally and was otherwise appropriate. No report was taken."

Oh, me oh my! You don't even need my feelings on this police blotter entry. The joke potential is enormous.

..."who was indeed dressed as a clown..." INDEED. OK, the fine officers deemed the party as otherwise appropriate. I can just imagine the officers racking their brains for tidbits they learned at the police academy. Hmmm, a clown barking at squirrels. Nope, not in the training manual. Doesn't sound like a reason to put anyone on a 72-hour mental evaluation hold.

I wonder if the officers asked for the clown's credentials. Perhaps the clown had a diploma from clown college? Or maybe he was just one of the many free-spirited clowns without credentials that roam Colorado looking for their next gig.

I would have loved to been a fly on the wall when those officers went home to their loved ones, hugged their significant others and told them NEVER to entertain the idea of letting a clown into their homes.

I'd also love to know what was going through the reporting party's mind when they called 911. "Hello, 911. What's my emergency? Well, um... There is a clown barking at squirrels and I'm afraid a squirrel is going to jump the clown and rip off his big, red nose..."

I admit, I've barked at squirrels even dressed in street clothes. OK, that was a lie. I never have. I've never even thought about it.

I wonder if Sal did revive his career as Faquin A, the party clown and stopped by Florence to bark at some squirrels. If it was Sal--Sal was harmless, but I'd still never recommend him for a children's party.

I am scared of clowns after all this? Faquin A, yeah! I sure am.

What They Are Really Thinking On The Antiques Roadshow

Yes, you just destroyed a valuable antique by cleaning it. I don't care if Betsy Ross left a piece of stinky cheese in the buffet, don't clean it. I don't care if General Sherman's horse peed all over that sword, just leave it alone.

Oh, yeah! I went to this yard sale and I offered this little old lady $1 for all this jewelry. She was asking $5, but I thought, what the heck? And now you are saying it's worth a million? No! It can't be true. I thought it was costume jewelry. Wink! I wouldn't know platinum if it bit me in the behind.

And the bonus to all this, is now everyone who was planning on having a yard or estate sale will watch The Antiques Roadshow or look it up on Ebay (without realizing all the variations on condition and design) and think everything is worth a fortune.

I always like looking someone in the eye( wait I can't see his eyes) when I tell them that Star Wars collectibles can now be worth more that Civil War antiques. I've been a prestigious dealer for decades and I never thought I'd be talking smack with a Star Wars trooper or soldier or whatever the heck they call them.

Excuse me while I go home and cuddle up one last time with my worthless collection, that includes things like Abe Lincoln's stovepipe hat, and kick myself that I didn't invest in Star Wars memorabilia. I did jump into the Beanie Babies craze and lost my house on Martha's Vineyard. And well, my wife and family disowned me too. Excuse me while I go hang myself.


The Queen of Questionable Taste is a part-time antiques and collectibles dealer and a mocker of  tacky, ugly, FUNky  and horrid collectibles and other questionable items, but takes special glee in mocking scary clowns and frogs. The Queen appreciates a good antique and some collectibles, but insists that another man's trash is always trash--unless of course someone is willing to pay the big bucks for it. The Queen used to be a newspaper reporter and also wrote for a major national magazine. The Queen enjoys decorating her home in the tacky pseudo-Victorian gypsy funk style, gardening, reading and acting offended when her husband, The King of Impeccable Taste, makes folk art out of junk he scrounges for free from alleys and other people's yards and out of the Arkansas River. The Queen and her husband have lived in colorful Colorado for over 20 years and LOVE it.