The Clown Collectibles Mocker: Creepy Clown Cakes

Creepy clown collectibles are overtaking the world. Fellow clown collectibles mockers should get a kick out of this hilarious website: http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2011/4/6/the-incredible-non-edible-plastic-clown-head.html?currentPage=2

Cake Wrecks.com is approved by the blog owner of True Story Club (aka The Clown Collectibles Mocker.) They don't just make fun of clown cake wrecks, but the fact that they know about the toxic horror of the incredible, non-edible plastic clown heads make my Respect-O-Meter twitch with delight.

The Clown Collectibles Mocker (also known as The Queen of Questionable Taste) spends too much time mocking clown collectibles and clown fashions, accessories and jewelry. In her spare time, she dusts her clown collectibles collection with a clown-colored feather duster clenched between her butt cheeks. Why? Because she can. And because it's good aerobic exercise. The Clown Collectibles Mocker doesn't mock real clowns or people (in public) and hopes that if people run across their handiwork or items on this blog, they realize it is a high honor and just in fun.

Florence, Colorado: Weird But Wonderful Little Pioneer Town

I'm always curious about what other people are saying about Florence, Colorado. Why? I'm just plain nosy, that's why. And I came across this delightful blog, Cake Spy, that has a nice post about our town. http://www.cakespy.com/blog/2015/4/19/a-sweet-visit-to-florence-colorado.html

According to the blog writer, Florence is a "weird but wonderful little pioneer town." I couldn't agree with her more!

Check out the Cakespy blog. I haven't had a chance to read much more than the Florence, Colorado entry--but it looks like a great blog. Anytime a blog is devoted to sugar, cake and spying--I am totally up with that.

I did learn something at the Cake Spy tonight. There is a rumor circulating that cinnamon rolls might be the official food of our fair, glucose-ridden town. I have enough rolls around my mid section and try to avoid sweets (ha!) so I wasn't aware we had so many cinnamon rolls in town. I will have to remedy that situation as soon as I can.

Yes, Florence is a weird, but wonderful little pioneer town. Its beautiful streets are filled with great eateries, stunning architecture, fabulous antiques shops and indoor and outdoor art.

But underneath its adorable image lies the darker, weirder side:Too many cinnamon rolls. Though I have not yet independently confirmed that yet. AND...

Lest, we not forget. Florence, Colorado not only has the largest amount of antiques stores per capita in the state, it also has one of the highest rates of clown collectibles lurking in its stores. AND I have independently confirmed that.

Arrrgh! The Florence clown angst! The clown on the left could improve his disposition with the official food of Florence: a cinnamon roll. The clown on the left has already had his cinnamon roll sugar high and his quiet smirk of satisfaction tells the whole story.

Eating Our Way Across Colorado: ITO Japanese Steak House in Florence, Colorado

Yes, our goal here is to eat our way across Colorado and write about it. First on our tour of culinary delights is ITO Japanese Steak House, Sushi And Thai in Florence, Colorado.

OK, ITO's is less than a mile from our house--but it still qualifies as eating our way across Colorado.

ITO's opened in early Dec. of 2014 at 106 W. Main St. From my vantage point (across the street working at various antiques stores) with my binoculars focused on this restaurant or loitering on the streets of Florence because I have nothing better to do, I can honestly say there has hardly been a lull in business since opening day.

My husband and I have a tradition (on birthdays) of attempting to eat out three times on our birthdays. Since we are getting older, the tradition is down to two birthday meals eaten out. Oh, and I wonder why my waistline is just a touch out of control.

Anyway, since it was my husband's birthday we decided to make ITO's the twice-in-one day destination. It was just a few days after opening day, and many restaurants when newly opened have a few glitches to work out. Not so at ITO's. The food and service have been perfect from day one to the present.

After our second trip in one day, most of the staff chuckled and yelled, "See you tomorrow!" They weren't far off. We've been back several times and have never been disappointed.

Full disclosure. Japanese cuisine has never been among my favorites. And after ITO's--Japanese food is one of my favorites.

My husband has always enjoyed Japanese food, as it was part of his childhood. His parents are from the Big Island of Hawaii, where the Japanese culture and cooking is dominant. His mother is a pro at making sushi and other Japanese delicacies.

While I always enjoyed my mother-in-law's cooking (because my husband slipped me a $20 bill and an elbow nudge to the ribs and insisted I act like I adored sushi and other Japanese food his mother cooked) I never did enjoy it in restaurants, until ITO's.

Come on! I had Sicilian food in my childhood and we were the types who giggled if someone made a comment about someone making someone swim with the fishes--and not the types to eat raw fish.

Most of us know, sushi is not all about raw fish. It's about artistry and most of it is delicious.

But we got more hooked (no pun intended) on the bento boxes.

Oh, bento boxes. There's my husband attempting to put some soy sauce on his California roll.

I didn't order the bento box this visit, but I have a half dozen times before--so I snatched a roll and a dumpling (Gyoza) before he could object.

Mmm. Washabi. My husband likes to smear that over everything for a hot kick in the gums--so I had to snatch a few samples away before he did so.

This time around, he ordered the shrimp teriyaki box. Sweet ecstasy. You bet my fork was reaching for one of his shrimp.

On the left of the picture is the vegetable tempura. Years ago, in several of the many Japanese restaurants in California my husband drug, I mean took me to, I had bad experiences with tempura. The batter was thick and spongy. So, I was expecting the same here. Not so. The tempura is light and crunchy and cooked to perfection.

Everything is perfectly seasoned and fresh at ITO's.

The miso soup and salad come with the bento box. Delicious!

You'll notice my husband's shirt is different from the last picture. No, he didn't run to the restroom and make a change. We visit ITO's often and this review is based on many visits.

The tempura shrimp bento boxes are just as good as the teriyaki ones. Even the shrimp and vegetables look perky and artistic.

The fried rice in the bento boxes defies description. It is better than any fried rice I've tried in  any Chinese, Thai or other Japanese restaurants.

On one visit I tried the beef and Soba noodles. Soba is thin buckwheat noodles. The beef was melt-in-the-mouth tender. The noodles were cooked correctly and the sauce and vegetables were excellent.

ITO's also boasts a full-service bar and a huge selection of fresh seafood for the sushi and sashimi.

The menu at this Florence eatery is vast and complex, we have not yet scratched the surface of all the delicious offerings such as their hibachi menu or steak, lobster and other seafood. Hopefully I can get back to ITO's a couple of dozen more times and try all those things before I snap the elastic on my stretch pants.

ITO's has a good selection of ramen and Thai dishes. I tried the Pad Thai, which consisted of noodles stir fried with eggs, bean sprouts, green onions and crushed peanuts. I had the shrimp, but the Pad Thai may also be ordered with beef, chicken, vegetables or tofu.

For the freshness and quality of the food, the prices at ITO's are reasonable. Most lunches fall in the $6.95 to $9.95 range.

Dinners can range up to the high $20-range, but the dinner bento boxes are larger than the lunch offerings and range from $9.95 to $16.95.

ITO's get the True Story Club's highest rating: Four forks up! Or in this case, four chopsticks up!

 The rating system is: One fork up (call the health department). Two forks up (not bad, but my taste buds could be happier). Three forks up (quite delicious). Four forks up (beyond delicious). I wanted to base the rating system on the FORK YOU restaurant review system, but my husband told me I was naughty and this was a family-friendly blog. But recently I read something in a reputable local newspaper where a rubber duck derby was referred to as the CLUSTER DUCK. I immediately asked my husband if that meant what I thought it meant. He said yes. And he dared scoff at my initial FORK YOU system of rating restaurants. The man simply has no vision.

ITO's is open Monday through Thursday from 10:30 to 9 and on Fridays and Saturdays from 10:30 to 9:30. They are closed on Sundays.

The restaurant accepts cash and major credit cards, but no checks.



All restaurant meals that are reviewed are paid for by the blog owner. No restaurant owner or staff is informed that the restaurant will be reviewed or publicized. True Story Club NEVER accepts any type of compensation for writing about a restaurant or any other subject on this blog.

The blog owner is NOT a professional restaurant reviewer or photographer. (Like she needed to tell you that). The Fremont County Foodie is a pen name (among others) for the blog owner, who is a former newspaper reporter and magazine writer. She knows nothing about fine dining or cuisine and her only experience with fine dining was coming in third place when applying for a job as a restaurant reviewer at a major Colorado newspaper and when she slightly ticked off celebrity chef, Lidia Bastianich at her swanky Manhattan eatery, Felidia's. I guess that's what poor Lidia gets for allowing such riff-raff into her restaurant. If you dare, you can read about the Fremont County Foodie's total lack of manners and restaurant review qualifications in this blog post: http://truestoryclub.blogspot.com/2015/04/eating-my-way-across-colorado-fremont.html

Fremont County Foodie: The Day I Ticked Off Celebrity Chef, Lidia Bastianich

I plan on eating my way across Colorado. Wait, I've already done that. I've actually ate my way across most of the United States and four other countries. I've just never written about it. I was too busy shoving delicacies down my pie hole to write.

True Story Club will soon feature restaurant reviews by the Fremont County Foodie. Reviews won't just be limited to Fremont County, Colorado. Anytime, the Fremont County Foodie can make a break across county lines and eat--there will be a review.

OK, your new reviewer is really The Queen of Questionable Taste. Questionable taste in antiques, collectibles and a spouse. What's the difference of adding food to the list. So, you can be assured the Queen is also totally unqualified to write restaurant reviews.

Actually the Fremont Foodie has a small, very small resume, of fine dining experience. About a decade ago I decided to apply for a position at a major Colorado newspaper as a...Newspaper delivery person? The editor-in-chief? Ha! Not with my majestic grammar skills. I applied for the lofty position of restaurant reviewer. The editor of the arts and entertainment section emailed back and said he was slightly amused by my gallant, but novice attempt. OK, he didn't say that, but I can read and write between the lines. He did say I was is the top three candidates for the position. Then he never emailed back. I think what he forgot to tell me was that only three people applied and I was in dead last.

            The Queen of Questionable Taste & The Fremont County Foodie's Stunt Double

I couldn't find where one even could attend the University of Restaurant Reviewers. So I gave up my dream of getting paid to be a glutton, I mean a gourmand.

Pictured above is my stunt double. You see, it is imperative that I sneak into restaurants anonymously. I suppose when I whip out my huge, decade-old camera that still uses floppy discs--I will be found out. But maybe not. It seems everyone whips it out--and then posts a review on Yelp or some such site.

Yes, you will be yelping when you read my take on what the eating world has to offer.

My only other brush with real fine dining (outside of venturing off the dollar menu at McDonald's) was the time I slightly ticked off celebrity chef, Lidia Bastianich.

Let me back track. The King of Impeccable Taste and I were in New York many years ago visiting relatives. Why golly! All the tall buildings and that lady holding the torch, really set our country bumpkin hearts a flutter.

I had watched Lidia's cooking show on PBS for years. This was before her son, Joe, became a TV star on such shows as Master Chef and Restaurant Start-up.

My relatives decided to stay home one day, and the King and I set off from Staten Island to Manhattan. We were looking for Lidia's restaurant--Felidia. But we don't know New York City. But we found one of Joe's restaurant's. I can't remember the name of it.

                                                                      Joe Bastianich

Joe wasn't there. And that was fine, since we hadn't seen him on TV and wouldn't have recognized him.

We ate. We died twice. The first time was when we were eating. The food was so good. I remember not what we ate, but we didn't care. Best eats ever. We died the second time when we got the bill. It was $130 for two lunches. And we had mineral water, since the King and I rarely drink wine or other spirits.

This was about a decade ago, when $130 was equivalent to about $200. And way before the King got a decent job. We didn't care if we had to sell our plasma to pay our credit card bill when we got back to Colorado--because we had just stepped into the real world of fine dining.

We went back to my relatives' house and told them we had spent $130 on lunch and didn't care. In my family (yes, Italian--well, sort of--Sicilian, which some people don't consider real Italians) spending over $7 on lunch is high treason. To say that side of my family are thrifty Sicilians is an understatement.

Something is my crazed eyes told my relatives that if we came running back and insisting they go with us to Joe's mother's restaurant, even though it was over $7 per head, it had to be serious.

Since my relatives are thrifty, we offered to pay. But we suggested we just order two lunches for the four of us and split them. They agreed to that. But once they got inside and saw was it was really about--they lost their grip and ordered several lunches.

Even though my relatives are New York born and raised Italians, they had never heard of Lidia Bastianich. 

                                                                  Lidia Bastianich

"Oh, my!" I gushed to my cousin,"I watch Lidia's cooking show on PBS every chance I get, which is odd since I can't cook my way out of a paper bag and don't understand fine dining or cooking. The only words I really understand when she speaks are olive oil, sausage and pasta. There is just something about that lady and her show I like."

My cousin nodded and didn't reply because her face was stuffed with some raspberry-pear ravioli or something. Her eyes were crossing in ecstasy and she made it clear that she still didn't get why I was gushing over Lidia, but agreed the food was the best she'd ever had.

We sat there so long, that all the other diners had pretty much left and it was getting into prep time for dinner. My cousin went to the restroom.

I was looking at the bill, that was close to the price of a small country--but did not care. Yes, that delicious. The King and I and my cousin's husband were chatting when I saw HER out of the corner of my eye.

I have a pretty soft voice and did not mean for my voice to carry. "Oh, my God!" I nudged the King," Look there's Lidia!!!"

She was walking across the dining room, apparently on her way out after a long day. I truly did not mean for her to hear me.

Her body language indicated my screeching had reached her ears and it ticked her off slightly, but she shrugged it off and strode to our table and graciously asked us how everything was. I was mortified, because I had NO intention of her hearing me and coming over. I am rather an introvert.

I couldn't stop gushing, even though I could see she was tired. I told her I watched her on PBS and asked her to sign her newest cookbook for me. She did. What a lady.

The three of us are sitting there in shock after she left. The King was as big a Lidia fan as I was--even before we ate her food. He's usually a little more extroverted and he couldn't say a word, except thank you.

My cousin's husband didn't know who she was, so he just said thanks for the good food.

The door closed as Lidia left her famous Felidia and my cousin returned from the restroom. We told her that she missed Lidia. "Darn!" she yelled. "I always miss everything!" Now, my cousin is the extrovert in the group and would have loved Lidia.

And that is my only brush with fine dining. So, rest assured, I don't know my arse from a souffle. Nor, do I apparently know to use my inside voice when Lidia walks by. So, all that will conspire to get you the most questionable restaurant reviews money can't buy.

The Setup: Pete Crooks New Book With Forward by Lt. Joe Kenda

I'm a big Lt. Joe Kenda fan and a fan of true crime. So, imagine my delight when I received this email from journalist and author, Peter Crooks.

Hi there,

I came across your blog about Joe Kenda and thought I would let you know about a true crime book I published earlier this year. The story, about a group of con artists who wanted celebrity attention at any cost, is quite a wild tale and has a bizarre intersection with Kenda's show.

I interviewed Kenda for the book, and ended up becoming friends with him, so I asked if he would contribute the forward. He was very generous (and insightful), so he did.

http://www.amazon.com/Setup-Story-Dirty-Soccer-Reality/dp/1940363314/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1415686797&sr=8-1&keywords=the+setup+pete+crooks

Thanks for your attention!

                                                          ******************

There's the link to Amazon above, for all true crime and Kenda fans to check out the book.

I lived in Colorado Springs for over two decades and it was in the Springs that Kenda solved nearly 400 homicides. 

I just discovered Kenda on Investigation Discovery TV and am catching up with reruns. Imagine my surprise the other day when I saw my former boss, Howard Black, a former colleague of Kenda's on Lt. Joe Kenda: Homicide Hunter. I worked on a special short-term project as a civilian at the Colorado Springs Police Department, but never met Kenda. But I was  impressed by his former colleague, even though I did not know of Kenda back then.

So, all True Story Club readers--go check out Pete Crooks book, with a forward by Lt. Joe Kenda.

I haven't had a chance to read the book, but if it has the Kenda stamp of approval, I'm certain it's a great read.

Florence, Colorado: The Epicenter of Scary Clowns

The King of Impeccable Taste reminded me today that Florence, Colorado IS the antiques capital of Colorado and that while he enjoys mocking a scary clown or two, that many people actually collect and enjoy clowns.

I told him to prove it and he just stood there with a slack jaw. The King is pretty good at comebacks and came up with this. "Well, they would not have manufactured so many clowns to begin with if there was not a demand."

"Tell that to the Goodwills and thrift stores across the world that are overrun with an abundance of clowns." I smirked.

We'll never win this battle. So, as usual we'll just let the clowns speak for themselves.

All I'm saying is that if Florence is the antiques capital and has the highest amount of antiques stores per capita in the state, then it isn't a far reach that the town just might have the highest capita of scary clowns.

I suppose this clown could be a good learning tool. Perhaps give it to one's young son and tell him: "Why Junior, this clown has a receding hairline just like your dear, old dad. There is such a thing as male pattern balding. So when you grow up, you won't be surprised. And try and get a good education and job, so you can afford some hair plugs."

Oh, my! There's price tags on all of us. Doesn't anyone realize that if you paid people to take us away, we still probably wouldn't get good homes?

Why the little doll dressed up as a bear has a look on her face like she just saw something shocking! Wait, it couldn't be because she just saw a hideous clown stuck in with legit collectibles, could it?

Florence Colorado: FREE, FRIENDLY & FUNky

Remember a couple of blog posts ago, I suggested that Florence should NOT be known as the new Manitou, but instead: The FUNkytown of Fremont County?

I've actually come to the conclusion that one cannot label Florence. This town simply defies such pesky boundaries. Today, it's the freest, friendliest and FUNkiest town. Tomorrow it might be something different.

How did I come to that conclusion today? Well, as you might know, I am married to The King of Impeccable Taste. We've already established he likes to makes folk art and steampunk and other crafts from things he fishes out of the Arkansas River or wherever. But we haven't established that he is also the KING OF THE PACKRATS. No, he's not a hoarder. As The Queen of Questionable Taste, I do run a pretty tight ship and rein (or should I say reign) in his packrat tendencies.

Another thing you might not know about the King is that he's the kind of guy that will hop in the car in a middle of a blizzard or monsoon to get you some ice cream or run any kind of errand just because I might be too lazy to leave the house--or want to trick him, so I can clean up his mounds of packrat stuff when he's gone. So, he's a pretty good all-around guy.

BUT, he KNOWS that the Queen gets a touch irritable when he brings more junk home.

Recently I asked him to run a few errands since the Queen had to do our taxes. The Queen is too cheap (um, thrifty) to hire someone to do taxes and gets a touch irritable around tax time.

The King dutifully gets lost for a few hours, going to the post office, etc. I go to the garage when he returns and catch him in the act. He has a sheepish look on his face as he twitches a bit. "Look what I got."

"Why the heck would we need a paint-stained crappy ladder," I muttered. "We already have good ladders and crappy ladders galore."

"This one was FREE!" He crowed.

I scowled.

I gave him the snake eye. In my Italian family, we used to call it the evil eye. But since I rather like the King at times, when the moon and tides are aligned and he isn't ticking me off--I decided to just do the snake eye and not the evil eye.

"What are you going to do with this beauty?" I asked with just a faint dollop of sarcasm.

The King, who has no nervous tics, did twitch again. He knows NOT to mess with the Queen when she is doing taxes.

"Well, haven't you seen these cool shelves they make out of ladders? In the antique stores?"

I replied, that I had seen no such thing and hoped to never see such a thing.

Then I got up closer to this mess of a ladder and saw something that made me smile.

The King stopped twitching.

"Who made that sign?"

"I don't know. Obviously the person who left it outside for free," he said.

"I'll be darned! That's why I love this town. Who would go through all the trouble to make such a cute sign and cartoon just to get rid of an old ladder," I grinned.

I do believe I am now attached to this crappy, paint-spattered ladder.

Isn't it a beauty? And look at some of the crapola (that's Italian for: Get this crap out of my house and garage before I make you some concrete booties and help you swim with the fishes) in the background. Old light fixtures that the King also got for FREE in Florence at some other person's house that just put a pile of stuff outside with a FREE sign. But that's another story. Oh, heck yeah--I'll tell that story in another blog post, because the King just cannot be stopped and someone needs to start a Fremont County Chapter of Packrats Anonymous.

Oh, I digress. This is why Florence is the free, friendly and FUNkytown this week--because not only do people leave free stuff in their yards for people like the King to delight in--they do it in the friendliest and FUNkiest manner. Oh yeah!

Crystal Emporium: A ROCKing Good Selection

A visit to the Crystal Emporium at 107 E. Main St. in Florence is always fun.

We've stopped by a few times to ask for assistance on rock identification and prices and owner, Faye Roberts is always happy to lend her 40 plus years of knowledge.

Roberts offers free appraisals and is always glad to identify rocks for visitors to the store. She has also co-owned another rock store in Colorado for many years and opened the Crystal Emporium six years ago.

The Crystal Emporium is packed with many fine rock specimens, as well crystals, jewelry, antiques, fossils, gifts items and much more.

Roberts is also joined in the shop by owners David and Mary Roberts.

Just When You Think You Found All The Scary Clowns

Just when I think I've located all the scary clowns in Florence, Colorado--some more arise to bite me in my antique-loving tush.

I'll forgive this scary clown because at least he's true vintage and surrounded by some pretty rocking vintage goodies.

But I don't have the same slightly warm fuzzy feelings for this dude. He looks vaguely drugged. Is that a horn, or he sucking on a crack pipe?

Now honestly look me in the eye and my bulbous red nose and tell me that this clown does not look like he has a creepy intent and he is stalking the angel.

What The Heck Is This Doing In An Antiques Store: A Touch Evil

What the heck is this doing in an antiques store? Being the Sherlock Holmes (ette) of antiques in Florence, Colorado--I like to think deep thoughts about antiques, collectibles and other inanimate objects. I like to wonder who brought them into a store and where the items journeyed before they came to Florence--the antiques capital of Colorado.

Tee hee!

Can you even guess what this is? I didn't know until I read the tag. My first guess was a cousin of Gumby with a grass skirt. Perhaps a distant relative of the animated character,  lived in the Pacific Islands or went on a vacation and got a sunburn.

I was wrong. But that happens a lot, so I am used to it.

Once a fellow co-worker and friend told me, "You know, you are a touch evil. And you ENJOY it!"

I try to take everything said to me with a thick skin and a twinkle in my slightly evil eye and glommed on to the fact that she said a TOUCH evil. Not totally evil. And yeah, I like it. A little.

So, that's my hint about this object. It's just a touch evil.

Any more guesses?

OK, I'm not totally evil and won't keep you in suspense. It's a voodoo doll.

I didn't see that this item came with any pins. But if it did, I would have stuck a pin or two in it (in some not too painful place, since I am only a touch evil) and "zapped" the person who brought this into an antiques shop.

Hmmm. Seems like there is yet another category of antiques. Oh yeah, I could bore myself and talk about RECOGNIZED categories of antiques and collectibles. But what fun would that be.

The new category is Purgatory Antiques and Collectibles. I heard a nasty rumor that Kovel's is coming out with a price guide in this category on the twelfth of never.

Why Purgatory Antiques and Collectibles? That refers to items that are not crummy enough to be thrown out, donated to a charity or re-gifted. But are way too crappy for an antiques store, but someone tries to slip them in anyway and hope no one notices.

Perhaps we can start a National Purge Purgatory Day and have bonfires to rid the world of these items.

Now The Scary Clowns Are Getting Rebellious

It was the Queen of the Delightfully Tacky, who was upstairs at The Iron Gate Mall stocking her booth when she screamed," Oh my God! I wasn't even looking for it, but there it is. Another scary clown."

As usual, I trembled with joy and just happened to have my camera.

But this clown is more than scary--he's a touch rebellious.

Can't you see it in his face and his upraised arms? He's planning some type of scary clown rebellion. I can't figure out if he's plotting against the innocent sock monkey or planning to over take me and the Queen of the Delightfully Tacky.

We'll just have to keep an eye on this guy. I think we finally have found the leader of the scary clowns in Florence.

The Magical World Of Artist Sandy Dale And Her Gnarlies -- Steampunk

Prepare to enter a magical world when you enter the studio of Sandy Dale and her Gnarlies.

The Florence, Colorado artist has shared her creations for many years with Renaissance Festival goers, but also has a studio at 220A W. Main St.

Sandy's artwork covers many medias and subjects, but in honor of Florence's Steampunk Festival on April 11 and 12, we're just showcasing her steam punk-type creations.

Sandy's Main St. studio is open by whim or appointment, so we felt honored to get a peek into her magical world.

Sandy's email is gnarliemother@hotmail.com

Magical steampunk.

A steampunk bird clock that uses a pair of vintage sheep shearers for the beak.

Even the outside of Sandy Dale's studio evokes a magical atmosphere.

Sandy Dale's gypsy wagon, formerly used to sell artwork at fairs, is now parked outside her studio for all to enjoy viewing.

A mural on the outside of the studio.

The world of Sandy Dale and The Gnarlies is complex and magical.

More information about Sandy's artwork is available at: www.linkedin.com/in/thegnarlies and at: www.Facebook/pages/TheGnarlies

In honor of Florence's first Steampunk Festival on April 11 and 12, Sandy will be displaying her artwork in front of King's Flea Market.

What Would Martha Stewart Do About Florence's Scary Clowns?

I sit up nights wondering what Martha Stewart would do if she was in Florence, Colorado browsing and noticed the amount of scary clowns running amok.

Would she run screaming to the offices of Architectural Digest for a cleansing? Or would she do what the Queen of Questionable Taste does and look those scary clowns in the eyes and immortalize them for the whole world to see?

I think she is a brave and talented woman with impeccable taste who would figure out a creative way for people to use scary clowns in decorating.

If she were as scared of the clowns as I was, I think she'd have too much class to show it.

Since I have little class, I'll just keep on showing the tour of Florence's scary clowns and giving myself the willies.

 Oh my goodness! I can't decide if that's a price tag around the clown's neck or he's finally had enough of this cold, cruel world and decided to do himself in. Please, don't do it clown!

 OK, I give this clown permission to do himself in.

 Stop the madness. This isn't Ringling Brothers. This is Florence for goodness sake!

This clown is saying,"Ssshhh! I have a secret. The Queen of Questionable Taste must die soon. She has done more to discredit our kind than all the previous generations of clown mockers before her."

Florence Colorado: More Steampunk Goodness At Florence Antiques Shop

The town of Florence is getting ready for the steampunk festival. This multi-media steampunk artwork was spotted in the window of Florence Antiques at 103 W. Main St.

I'm almost expecting Jules Verne to pop into Florence any day now.

Florence Colorado: Rest In Peace Faroan, A Fine Florence Police K9 Officer

Rest in peace, Faroan. Not only does Florence Colorado honor and appreciate the work of the humans (refer to a previous blog post, Officer There's A Rattlesnake In My House) but we also value the work of K9 officers.

                                          Faroan and Florence Police Sgt. Sean Humphrey

I literally teared up when I first read this story in the Canon City Daily Record last week. http://www.canoncitydailyrecord.com/News/ci_27664629/Memorial-set-for-Florence-Police-Departments-K9-dog

For those who have never had the privilege of living in Florence or visiting the small town, the city has a huge number of canine friends and dog lovers everywhere. It's impossible to leave the house and not see many people walking their dogs. And every single one of my neighbors has at least one dog and one neighbor has four dogs.

I've had a dog since age eight. I can't imagine my life without man's best friends. The passing of Faroan, a Florence Police Department K9 officer choked me up a little. But what is making my eyes mist, even as I am typing this, is the fact that other K9 handlers from Colorado Springs Police Department showed up at the veterinarian's office in Colorado Springs, as Sgt. Humphrey said his good byes to Faroan.

That's just the kind of state Colorado is.

Today there was a memorial service for Faroan at the Florence city council chambers.

Today there was a brief story on Channel 13, KRDO TV News in Colorado Springs about Faroan's service. The newscast showed a small carved wooden box that held Faroan's cremains.

If the world is attempting to make me cry today--mission accomplished! But they are happy tears. I'm proud to be in a community that honors its own, including man's best friend.

Rest in peace Faroan. And thank you for your service Sgt. Humphrey. We know no other K9 officer can replace Faroan, but we look forward to meeting the newest member of Florence's finest.

Florence Colorado: Good Stuff Antiques, No Doilies or Scary Clown Toys

Do I put my money where my mouth is? I've been blathering on about some of the cool stuff, and about some rather bizarre stuff that can be found in Florence--the antiques capital of Colorado.

But is my house tastefully stuffed with good stuff that I've found in Florence? Heck yeah!

Awhile back I promised a tour of my house. I basically decorate in the gypsy, peacock, pseudo-Victorian funk style. Never heard of that style, you say? I hadn't either, but living in Florence inspired me. So, that's basically what you'll see in my home.

One of my favorite antiques stores in Florence is Good Stuff at 131-B W. Main St. Lots of the "good stuff" in our house came from there. Now that is high praise coming from a picker. That means the prices are good.

I've loved Good Stuff for years. Even my husband, the King of Impeccable Taste loves it.

But what do other people think? I did a quick search online and the reviews of Good Stuff are right on the money. But my favorite review, in part, read,"No doilies or scary clown toys..."

That is INDEED high praise of an antiques store. And I am pretty sure, I know what Florence store that reviewer is referring to when they mention scary clown toys and doilies. Meow! But I will never tell. That is part of the mystique of Florence, finding where the good stuff is and then alternately being scared by clowns.

My most recent purchase at Good Stuff was a large amount of vintage brooches. I have a love of peacock decor and most anything sparkly, shiny, gaudy and over the top. Sure, I love primitives and folk art too--but gaudy is yummy.

I start out with getting this one vintage peacock brooch. Next thing I know about eight more vintage brooches are in my hot little hands. Of course, the owner at Good Stuff cut me a bulk deal without me even asking. I thought the prices were fairly cheap anyway.

So, I get home with my glittery treasures and realize that I don't really wear that much jewelry and certainly not gaudy brooches. What to do?

A few years back, The King of Impeccable Taste found a neat standing lamp at a Colorado yard sale. The King is the original Colorado Picker. The King got some fabric, beads and trim and made some lamp shades.

I decided the lamp need to be tricked out with gaudy brooches. Is this rather like Pimp My Lamp?

Tacky. Tackalicious. I love it. And I love Good Stuff Antiques.

Florence Colorado: Barn & Barrel, One Of The Best Window Displays

  I haven't done an official study, but I imagine Florence Colorado has one of the highest per capita ratios of antiques in the country. And the antiques capital of Colorado also has some of the best window displays I've seen anywhere.

  I'm a sucker for anything vintage and green, whether it's close to St. Patrick's Day or not.

  The current window display and at Barn & Barrel at 119 W. Main St. is delicious and green. Every shade of green from minty to sagey to Ireland. Weathered paint. Ah. Yummy.

  And this is just the window display. The shop inside is also full of tremendously delicious vintage delights.

  Barn and Barrel is one of cutest stores in Florence, but I bet as I take blog readers on more tours of Florence, I'll be writing that about most every store in town. And it will be true! After all, this is True Story Club.

 

Florence Colorado: Taxidermy On Steroids--Part 2

   We all know Florence, Colorado is the official antiques capital of Colorado. And we know I am The Self-Appointed Queen of Marketing for Florence. And we know that our state moniker is Colorful Colorado.

  That means colorful antiques, junk and colorful characters. Let's complete our tour of Taxidermy on Steroids with Mr. Smith. He's not technically taxidermy. Or if he is, he isn't telling me.

  But I am pretty certain Mr. Smith is related to Fartin' Farnsworth.

  Honestly, you don't know who Fartin' Farnsworth is? He used to grace the window of a business is Cripple Creek. He'd draw attention to semi-vulgar t-shirts and other, ahem, gas-related novelty items. And you think Florence has some strange merchandise and taxidermy characters. At least I have yet to locate a whoopee cushion in any of my junkets in Florence.

  Anyway, Mr. Smith is, I believe, distantly related to Farnsworth and he is in the window of Iron Gate Antiques Mall at 109 W. Main St. in Florence. Since Iron Gate is truly one of the best antique malls in the state and a much classier place that where Farnsworth used to hang out--he is simply named Mr. Smith. Smith is missing a few fingers. Probably from a bar brawl with Fartin' Farnsworth.

  Mr. Smith is for sale. Just about anything in Florence is. The nice fellow who was working at Iron Gate today noticed my intense interest in Mr. Smith today. No, the Iron Gate employee did not call the police on me. He knows I am a dealer. The employee told me the mornings he opens up the shop, he knows in his head that Mr. Smith is not real. Don't tell Mr. Smith that. But, almost every time he opens, Mr. Smith gets him since the employee for an instant thinks Mr. Smith is real.

  Smith ain't the most talkative guy but he smells a lot better than Farnsworth.

  So, let's go back upstairs at the Iron Gate and finish our mini-tour of taxidermy on steroids.

    And you really though I was exaggerating when I said there truly is a land of misfit taxidermy in my first post.

  According to the tag, this bird is a blue-eared pheasant. I did not know pheasant had different ear colors. Perhaps his ears were just cold. But this guy is a looker and I'd certainly purchase him if it wasn't for my husband--the King of Impeccable Taste that barred my own taxidermy purchase from our home. Refer to the previous post, Taxidermy on Steroids.

Awww! This is the frowsiest Bobcat I've ever seen. I was eyeballing this little dude a few weeks ago with another antique dealer and friend and we decided the price on this guy just screamed at us to take him home (under $40) but what the heck! Both our husbands were with us and just were not that enthused.

  Okay, I know this taxidermy treasure is a Bobcat and not a mountain lion. But for some reason Frowsy Bobcat reminded me of the time I was walking in a park on the outskirts of Denver metro. I spotted a sign that suggested a mountain lion might spring out and attempt to kill me at any moment, even though I was very close to Denver.

  The sign gave some very helpful tips about how to get the best of the mountain lion, assuming one was not armed with a pea shooter, a bazooka or a gun. The sign suggested that is was important for the human to regain control of the situation by attempting to get ON TOP of the mountain lion. I kid you not. I really wish even governmental and wildlife agencies would contact me for a common sense  reality check. I would suggest to the authorities that once a mountain lion IS on top of you, you are probably toast.

  I was not the only resident of Denver who thought this was hysterically funny that this wildlife sign in metro Denver gave such sucky advice.

  I suggest that someone take Frowsy Bobcat home and practice a half Nelson on him in preparation for walking in Denver area parks.

Ah, we are not in the Natural History Museum in Denver.  We are still upstairs at Iron Gate.

Consider this, a visit to Florence in truly colorful Colorado is really a cheap vacation that will appeal to all members of the family. Most women like to go antiquing. Check. Most men like to go junking. Check. And most kids like to go to natural history museums. Check. And most of us like to have a good laugh. Check and double check.